


The Soulmark

by LightningStriking



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Fusion, Angst, Crack, Domestic Violence, F/F, Feels, Finn and Poe are Adorable, Fluff, Gratuitous Stuffed Animal References, Happy Ending, Implied Smut, Jessika Pava/Rey - Freeform, Light Smut, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Pining, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 14:12:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 35,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7577065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightningStriking/pseuds/LightningStriking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where Soulmarks are a common occurrence, and everyone knows in an instant when they've met the love of their life, how does someone try to find romance the old fashioned way?  Jessika wants nothing to do with Soulmarks or fate.  Rey believes there is no greater gift in life.  Can such an unlikely pair find their way to a middle ground, and each other?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my lovely readers! So here it is, the Star Wars AU absolutely no one asked for! Yet I was completely blown away by The Force Awakens, and so when the whole concept of Soulmarks grabbed my attention I decided to borrow some characters. I love the idea that even in a world where Soulmarks exist, there is no guarantee of a happy ending. Fair warning, there are no stars, and no wars in this fic! Just a whole lot of feels, fluff, and ridiculous cute moments that I hope you enjoy. :)

The shouting was back, the walls of her tiny room practically reverberating with the yelling.  Clasping little hands over her ears, Jessika curled into as small a ball as she could.  As though if she only made herself small enough, she might disappear altogether.  Right now, tears pouring from eyes clenched shut, that was her only wish.  _Please, please, let me disappear.  Go somewhere far away,_ she begged.  Prayed perhaps, though despite the services Momma dragged her to every Sunday, she wasn’t so sure anyone was listening, or even existed.  “Of course He does,” Momma has insisted the single time she’d dared to voice the thought aloud.  “Where do you think Soulmarks come from?” Momma finished, stroking a hand absently over her own mark, the words permanently raised on the pale skin of her forearm.  Not everyone had their marks in such an obvious place.  Not everyone had a mark at all.  When she wasn’t busy wishing she was somewhere else, Jessika had prayed to someone she didn’t know was there, prayed hard that she never got a Soulmark.  It was a Soulmark that made Momma stay with Daddy, even though most days they could hardly stand the sight of each other.  Those words that had appeared upon both of them when they’d turned ten, Momma’s right across her arm for anyone to read, Daddy’s tucked under his ribs like a secret, they were the reason the two were still together when anyone with eyes could see they made each other miserable.  There may have been love between them, but it was a jealous kind of love, one that kept the object of that feeling close out of possessiveness, yet unhappy as possible out of spite.

            If that’s what it meant to have a soulmate, Jessika wanted nothing to do with it.  Hated the very idea of fate tying her to someone that she’d willingly chose to stay unhappily with forever.  Yet even as she huddled deeper under her blankets, desperately trying to block out the sound of the voices that never had a soft or kind edge to them anymore, she gasped in shock when she felt searing pain burn along her back, as though fire was searing along her skin with the finest of flames.  Arching uselessly away from the pain, it ended nearly as soon as it started, her eyes wide and unseeing as she panted through the worst of the agony.  Confused, Jessika cautiously reached behind her with a shaking hand, traced fingers along skin that suddenly was raised the slightest bit, in a scrawling line from the base of her neck down her spine.  A sob burst out of her once understanding struck, and she realized what this pain meant.  The mark down her back – it was a Soulmark.  Already, her soulmate was hurting her. 

            Muffling the sound of her tears, afraid it would bring attention she certainly didn’t want, Jessika fiercely wiped away her tears as she fought to get her breathing under control.  The God who didn’t listen to her prayers may have decided she had a soulmate.  But Jessika swore in that moment she would _never_ read it.  Never give in to the fate a God who didn’t listen to prayers had decided upon for her.  If she ever found love, she would find it _herself_.  Holding the vow close to her heart, Jessika rolled over, finger tips pulling to curl up against her chest.  And wished for sleep.

 

 

Hearing the cheerful ding of the bell above the door, Rey looked up from wiping down the long counter of the diner, a friendly greeting on her lips.  Which died immediately at the sight of the female standing just inside the door.  Although perhaps the word _dripping_ would be a better description.  The woman who had just walked in was wet.  And not just the, jogging through a light rain from work to a car, wet.  But rather, someone had grabbed her and tossed her, fully clothed, into a ten foot deep pool. And from the looks of on her face, she was _not_ happy about it.

            Casting a glare around the empty diner, the drenched female stomped towards the counter, the effect someone marred by the fact she squelched with every step.  Tossed her purse of the counter with a wet slap.  Plopping down on one of the stools, face falling into her hands, she demanded, her tone aggrieved, “Who do I have to screw to get a burger in this place?  And please God, tell me you have American cheese.”

            The note pad that had immediately made its way into Rey’s hand dropped to the floor.  At the same time her jaw dropped.  While her heart leapt in her chest.  Scrambling to find her footing as she ducked down to grab her notepad, she managed to knock over a napkin dispenser, a salt shaker, and a tower of plastic cups all the same time, feeling as though her world had just been knocked off its axis.  While she struggled to clear her throat, the fingers covering the face which was currently as wet and stormy as the weather outside parted just enough for black eyes to stare at her, the preexisting annoyance now tinged with curiosity.

            “Um, of course we do, and sexual favors won’t be necessary,” Rey stuttered out, then immediately wanted to slap her hands over her own face.  Really, those were her first words?  The best she could have done?  Yet even as she flushed ten shades of red, the soggy female only sighed, nothing beyond obvious relief on her face before she buried in her hands once more. 

            “Thank God.  And fries.  Lots of fries.  All of the fries.  Please,” she added belatedly, when Rey continued to stand there, shock, elation, confusion, and too many other emotions for her to quickly categorize keeping her locked in place. 

            “Oh, um, of course.  Coming right up,” Rey managed, before turning around and marching through the swinging door into the kitchen.  Before she gave in and slumped against a wall, hand pressed over her heart, the throbbing of it a wild staccato beat beneath her palm.  “Oh my God,” she whispered, her voice somewhere between a laugh and a strangled gasp.  “Oh my God!”

            “What’s the matter?  Got another Leonardo DiCaprio look alike out there?  Cause I have to tell you, the last one looked more Jacki Chan than Jack from Titanic.”  Jolting, Rey turned to blink at Poe, line order cook at the diner, as well as her best friend.  Teasing smile sliding off his face when he saw how white she was, Poe dropped the spoon he was using to stir something or other, to step forward and grasp both her arms in his hands.  “Hey, are you okay?” he questioned in concern when she blinked at him owlishly. 

            “She’s. . . American,” Rey finally said, her mind in chaos while her heart still beat loudly in her ears.

            “Who, a customer?  That’s not that weird, we get a lot of them here seeing as how the war has been over for, oh, a couple hundred years.  You think you’d be used to this by now,” he added absently, even as he shifted to take a glance through the small round window in the door between the kitchen and the diner, trying to catch a look at whoever had Rey in this state.  Rey was often in a state over something, being the excitable type, yet this look on her face was a new one. 

            “It’s . . . her.  Poe, it’s her,” Rey breathed, turning in his hands to peek through the window along with him. 

            “Who?  A movie star?” he demanded, before turning back to his friend.  And saw the glow that seemed to emanate beneath her skin as a smile tremulously broke across her face, hand lifting to press to her thigh.  And the soulmark he knew lie there.  Shocked, the teasing grin fell away as he gripped her once more.

            “You’re soulmate?  Are you serious?  She’s-”

            “Wet,” Rey supplied as she continued to peer through the window, at the love of her life who was currently wringing out her hair with an exasperated grimace.

            “A _she_ ,” Poe finished, shaking his head as he turned back to Rey, who finally tore her eyes away to look back up at him.  “Which, I mean, is great.  I just, uh, didn’t see that coming.”

            Emotions still surging through her in buffeting waves, Rey threw her arms around Poe, hugging him as her heart sang.  “I can’t believe it!” she exclaimed, before drawing back, her hands gripping his arms now as she spoke with the utmost seriousness.  “Poe, please, you have to cook the best burger of your _life_.”

            Staring down into her face, Poe gave her one last squeeze as he chuckled, before heading for the grill.  “Anything in the name of true love, doll.”


	2. Chapter 2

Sighing, Jessika stared morosely at the puddle of water that she’d created across the counter top, feeling bad about the wet mess she was making.  Her upbringing might have been questionable at the best of times, but even she knew dripping all over a respectable establishment wasn’t good manners.  Yet as bad as she felt for the inconvenience, she felt worse for herself, and the inconvenience the world in general and London weather specifically had heaped upon her.  And seeing how the promise of an honest to God burger was the only bright spot in her currently abysmal life, she didn’t have it in her to be a decent human by apologizing profusely and leaving the premises.  So there she sat, dripping away, a sad, guilty mass of self-pity and scathing mental remarks of the unreliability of London weatherman.  Until she jolted, nearly slipping right off her stool at the unexpectedly sweet voice that cut through her gloom. 

            “Sorry, sorry!” The waitress apologized, wide eyes apologetic, one hand help up while the other held out a towel.  “I just thought you might like to dry off a little while your burger cooks.” 

            Jessika had thought she’d hit her low point when the storm had struck half way through her morning walk home, after a nightmare of a night shift.  Yet now, as she felt tears prickle at the back of her eyes, and felt the nearly uncontrollable urge to sob in gratitude, she knew that if she collapsed into a crying, even more damp heap, _that_ would be her low point.  So despite the sniffle she couldn’t contain, she managed to force back the stupid tears that would only make her angry if they’d escaped, and cleared her throat. 

            “Thanks.”  Taking the proffered towel, she scrubbed it over her hair, dried her face, and then stared down in resignation at her clothing which no dish towel could fix.  Settling for draping it around her shoulders like a cape, Jessika sighed as she tried to finger comb her damp hair which was now hopelessly tangled.  Were she not just trying to make it through until she had a burger in her hand, she’d probably feel pretty depressed over the fact she was not only not looking her personal best, but had dipped below her personal worst, in the presence of the waitress she’d now looked at long enough to realize kind of looked like sunshine – bright, happy, and surprisingly warm.  Which was entirely unfair, considering the weather.

            Seeming to realize she was staring, the waitress cleared her throat and questioned, “Can I get you anything to drink?  Tea perhaps?”  Since Jessika was once more staring at the counter, dabbing at the puddle she’d made with one end of the towel, she missed the way the waitresses eyes widened in reaction as Jessika grinned, a genuine laugh bubbling out of her.

            “I’m afraid this is a morning even tea can’t fix,” Jessika said, watching in amusement when the waitress’s eyes grew comically wide and she slapped a hand over her heart.

            “I don’t think my brain can physically process what you just said,” she stated solemnly.

            Jessika laughed again, surprised that she was capable of such an action before the restorative powers of fries.  Yet apparently the waitress was both adorable and funny.  It was really ruining the sulk she’d been angrily enjoying.  Damn it.  “You couldn’t be more British if you tried,” she observed, her tone nearly affectionate.  Which might have given her pause, that she was feeling surprisingly a warm sensation inside of her watching the waitress roll her eyes in an “obviously” gesture, considering the rest of Jessika was freezing compliments of the stupid morning rain.  But she’d consider the oddity of feeling affectionate over someone she didn’t know later.  Right now, she leaned forward conspiratorially, beckoning the other female closer with a crooked finger, felt that warmth flicker a little brighter when the waitress folded her arms on the counter and leaned in as well.

            “Can you keep a secret?” Jessika whispered, glancing dramatically over her shoulder at the empty diner.

            “Of course, it’s part of British training, in the hopes we can all grow up and be spies like James Bond,” the waitress replied solemnly, gaze drifting down to Jessika’s mouth when her grin widened before lifting back up to black eyes with a visible effort.

            “I’d prefer a Coke.  I don’t actually like tea,” Jessika confessed, watching those chocolate eyes shut in apparent physical pain, head shaking at the mortal offense of it.  Before ridiculously long lashes lifted again and the waitress leaned even closer, her expression one of utmost seriousness.

            “You know, you can be deported for saying those kinds of things.”

            “Then I guess you’d better hope you don’t turn me in,” Jessika replied.  Watched as the waitress appeared to be considering, before she saw the narrowed stare Jessika gave her and dimples winked in her cheeks as she smiled at Jessika.

            “While it feels disloyal to my fellow countrymen, and puts my future status as a double oh seven in peril, I promise not to report you to the authorities.  You can trust me.”

            “I’m relieved to hear it.  Although I feel compelled to ask who exactly I’m trusting my current legal status in this rainy country to,” Jessika asked with a raised brow.  She didn’t normally attempt to get on first name basis with her wait staff.  But seeing as how Rey was now near enough to count the freckles on her nose, smelling delicately of lemon and something else light and slightly intoxicating, Jessika couldn’t think of a reason not to now.

            “Oh!  Um, Rey.  I’m Rey,” the waitress blushed, and while Jessika wasn’t sure why, she found it ridiculously adorable.  As had been everything about this female up to this point.  It would probably be annoying if it wasn’t so charming.  It _should_ be annoying.

            “Rey, nice to meet you.  I’m Jessika,” she offered, watching Rey stare back at her, that oddly dazed expression she’d worn when Jessika had come sloshing in like a tsunami back on her face once more.  Granted, Jessika couldn’t blame Rey for it.  It likely wasn’t often soaking wet, cranky Americans came barging in at 5:45 in the morning on a Sunday, demanding burgers and rejecting Great Britain’s beverage of choice.  In retrospect, Jessika had to admit she wasn’t representing her country very well.

            Even so, Rey exuded nothing but friendliness, dazed expression aside, and as they smiled at one another, Jessika watched with unabashed interest when the waitress seemed to be struggling with something – likely her continued disbelieve that anyone could be so uncultured as to reject tea, then started to speak.  “Listen,” she began, then they both jumped at the bell that rang loudly in the diner, a deep male voice proclaiming that her order was up. 

            Turning to the window to the kitchen, Rey quickly grabbed the place and slid it in front of Jessika who was wearing an expression of ecstasy so intense it was probably inappropriate.  But Jessika didn’t care.  Because seriously, a cheeseburger.  Picking it up, she simply inhaled the heavenly aroma for a moment, vaguely aware of Rey breaking her own moral code by pouring a soda, then sliding the glass over next to Jessika’s plate. 

            Rey watched as Jessika seemed to be communing with her burger as opposed to actually eating it, and couldn’t help from questioning, “Should I even as what’s happening right now?”

            Without opening her eyes, Jessika said with utmost seriousness, “Appreciating perfection takes time.  You shouldn’t rush it.”  Before she finally gave in, took a bite, and let out a moan that was all kinds of inappropriate.  “Oh my sweet Lordy.  This is the best burger I’ve tasted since moving here.”  Opening her eyes Jessika happily grabbed the squeeze bottle of mustard on the counter and squirted a small lake on her plate to dunk fries into.

            “Good enough to trade sexual favors for?”  At the joking question, Jessika looked back up at the waitress who was promptly turning bright pink, clearly instantly mortified she’d said such a thing.

            Yet Jessika simply arched a brow and replied, “Never underestimate what I’d do to get a burger.  It was either that, or commit a felony if I was unsuccessful in my quest.  So thanks for saving me from both of those possibilities.”  That said, she enthusiastically began to demolish her burger, long minutes passing before she realized Rey was still standing there, watching her eat.  Who apparently realized how awkward that was at the same moment Jessika did, because she cleared her throat loudly, and began to wipe down the counter again.  Jessika rolled her eyes.  “Alright, I just have to say it-”  At her words, Rey froze, the look upon her face one Jessika imagined someone would wear if they’d be unexpectedly tazzed.  Shocked, slightly frightened, and more than a little pained.  Which Jessika had no idea what that was about, but didn’t let it phase her.  “This is super weird, with just you and me here.  Sit down, and eat some of these fries with me.”  When Rey blinked, the shocked look still there, but fortunately no longer the pained bit, Jessika rolled her eyes, before glancing exaggeratedly around the empty diner once more.  “I’m pretty sure you’re boss who’s breathing over your shoulder right now isn’t going to dock your pay.  Sit,” she commanded, and while she still looking a bit more dazed than Jessika could account for, Rey walked around the counter, then gingerly sat on the seat next to her.  Dunking a fry generously in mustard, then holding it out to Rey, Jessika struggled not to roll her eyes this time when the waitress stared rather cautiously at it.

            “Do you have a moral objection to fries?  An allergy to potatoes?  Swore off fried food for Lent?” Jessika demanded.

            “Well – no.  But it’s not even 6 am yet…” Rey began. 

            Jessika shrugged, using a free hand to grab another fry and pop it in her own mouth.  “People eat hash browns for breakfast.  Same concept.”

            “It’s got mustard on it,” Rey said, her brow furrowing slightly, and while Jessika managed not to give into the eye roll once more, she thought she might have strained herself for the effort.

            “Eat the damn fry Rey.”

            Brown eyes instantly locked on her, Jessika couldn’t help but notice the way the waitress was suddenly a bit breathless.  She’d dissect what that meant – later.  Right now she was too busy focusing on the way Rey delicately took the fry, and gingerly bit into it.  Several expressions played over her lovely face, which Jessika was admiring without shame from such a close vantage point, and when the last one was reluctant enjoyment, Jessika didn’t both biting back a smug smile. 

            “It’s. . . good,” Rey breathed in clear surprise.  “I had no idea.” 

            “Stick with me kid and I’ll show you things that’ll blow your mind,” Jessika replied with a sly grin, missing the way Rey’s mouth parted slightly, breath catching, distracted by gulping down her Coke.

            “Listen – Jessika.  I wanted to ask you – no, I need to _tell_ you-”

            But whatever it was Rey wanted to impart was lost by the jingle of the bell above the door, ringing incessantly as a large family, composed entirely of large people wearing large Hawaiian shirts, came spilling into the diner, their sudden arrival cutting through the unexpected intimacy that had wrapped around the two women as they sat within touching distance.  Rey jumped up as though she’d been burned, casting Jessika a glance that looked part frustrated, part distraught, and something more, indefinable, before she moved away to start taking drink orders.

            Deciding her imagination was far too active, and not rational enough after nearly twenty hours awake, Jessika concluded she wasn’t actually disappointed the strange, and strangely _nice_ interlude was over.  It’s not like they’d been on a date or anything.  She was just annoyed the quiet of the diner was now being besmirched by the harsh, and downright unpleasant German accents, all harsh consonants and sharp voices that reminded her of the brewing headache she’d somehow actually managed to forget over the last twenty minutes.  Pain back with a vengeance, she reflected crankily that if it kept it up, she’d be useless the rest of the day. 

            “Crap!” she yelped, the thought suddenly triggering the fact useless wasn’t an option.  She had a very specific place to be, and as she frantically looked at the watch, saw it had stopped due to water exposer, then glanced at the clock on the diner wall, she already knew she was going to be late.  Digging through her purse, she came up with a soggy twenty pound note, and could only sigh, casting the heavens a quick glare.  She truly couldn’t have made a worse impression if she tried, Jessika concluded.  Especially since she had no time to clean up the lake she’d dripped on the floor like she’d intended.  Cursing once more, she slung her purse over her shoulder and darted for the door.  And if she’d looked over her should to get one last look at Rey, well, what of it?  But the fact Rey had been staring straight back at her with an expression that could only be termed distressed made Jessika swear again as she plunged out into the rain.  Yup.  Worst impression ever.

            The strangely happy mood that had taken her over evaporated with each splashing step through the rain, and as she observed firsthand the storm had only increased in strength during her time in the restaurant, she figured it was just her luck.  Hunching into her highly non-water proof jacket, she ignored the voice in her head that demanded she turn right around.  Real life beckoned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So did these two ever even get introduced in the Star Wars universe? Not that I know of. But I ship it regardless! Hopefully if you're along on this journey you do too. If you're enjoying, kudos and comments always make me very happy :D


	3. Chapter 3

Rey dreamed about finding her soulmate for as long as she could remember.  As a little girl, she would sigh wistfully over the sheer romance of soulmate’s finding one another in Disney movies, with the unshakable confidence of youth _certain_ life would be just as magical.  And she’d been right – as each year passed she’d been fortunate enough to witness numerous Meetings, each one as unique as they were special.  Once it had happened between two strangers on a bus, insisting the other take the last free seat.  Another time it had been in the produce section of the grocery store, and Rey’s mother had had to forcibly yank her away from the marvel unfolding right before her eyes as the two people found love over a container of strawberries.  She’d even been fortunate enough to see two boys collide accidentally in the hallways of her school, papers flying everywhere as wonder cut through their initial annoyance as they realized what had transpired.  Rey had been overjoyed at two people Meeting, and so young, she’d been full of happy thoughts about how they’d get to spend so much of their lives together, and completely forgotten all about her chemistry class. 

            Each encounter she’d witnessed left her smiling for days, pure happiness welling within her knowing there were two less lonely people in the world – two more people who would always have the certainty in their heart they’d found the person who was meant for them and them alone.  And so with every dandelion she made a wish on, every shooting star she saw falling from the sky, and every birthday candle she blew out, she’d been wishing with all her heart that she would be just as lucky. 

            On her tenth birthday, her friends and family had been singing to her, when Rey suddenly let out a sharp gasp, hunching forward as her legs curled in towards her body, nearly face planting in her cake at the jerking motion.  Her mother was instantly frantic, trying to piece together the words Rey was choking out between shuddering sobs, and it took Rey yanking up the hem of her dress to reveal the words printed in an elegant cursive scrawl across the top of her thigh for her mother to understand she was crying in overwhelming joy. 

            Rey’s mom had immediately slapped her hands over her face, as the other adults close enough to see had let out gasps of their own.  Rey had assumed her mom was just as overcome by such a miraculous event, that she’d been left speechless.  She’d only managed to compose herself when several of the kids impatiently started demanding cake, and had worn an expression of bemusement while hugging a crying yet beaming Rey.  It wasn’t until several years later that Rey finally understood while her mom had been shocked, it wasn’t over the soulmark appearing, but rather over what the soulmark _said_.  Elegant the print might be, the words were anything but.  Once Rey had come to comprehend the frankly inappropriate soulmark, she’d had several distinct reactions.  The first was to pray she didn’t end up a sex crazed maniac who for some unknown reason was giving out burgers to anyone who would feed her addiction.  But while it was a legitimate fear, she tried to console herself it was highly unlikely.  Instead, she choose to believe her soulmate had an unorthodox sense of humor.  Which was a _good_ thing.  Who didn’t like someone who was up for a laugh?

            Her friends just rolled their eyes when she insisted on discussing this as length, more interested in what they were having for lunch that day than the potential personality traits of her future soulmate.  Not that she let her dampen her enthusiasm for the subject.  Her soulmate was going to be wonderful, she just knew it.  Just like when her best friend happened to mention the restaurant he was a short order cook at was looking for a new waitress, she _knew_.  This was _it_ , the way she’d meet her soulmate.  And so with each new customer was the small hope they might be the one.  Her one.  Not that she minded waiting so much.  A clear believer in fate, Rey knew it would happen when it was meant to happen, and when it did, it would be perfect. 

            And then, it _had_ happened.  In walked in the love of her life, and just like she always knew this Meeting would be, it was perfect.  She was perfect.  Granted, Rey hadn’t realized that right away, seeing as how she’d been too busy feeling taken aback by a customer storming in like a hurricane before the sun was even up.  Yet that first moment Jessika had smiled at her, that grin lighting up that face like a sun no amount of rain could ever dim, everything in Rey had lifted, released, and her heart had cried out “Finally”.  She’d been clever, and funny, and sweet.  And she’d been beautiful.  True, Rey hadn’t _expected_ her soulmate to be a female, though when she’d admired the physical beauty of people in the past, her eyes had been drawn to women just as often as men.  Yet once she’d understood it was Jessika, of _course_ , of course this person who was meant for her.  The only possibly one. 

            The Meeting had been perfect.  Surprising and unexpected, with enough humor and sweetness to make it an entertaining story she’d delight in telling the rest of her life.  And yet, she’d come to realize the one thing about it that was so far from her perfect her heart, which in one moment had expanded beyond anything she’d ever with such pure happiness she was dizzy from it, was already breaking.  Jessika was unquestionably her soulmate, everything in Rey responding to her presence in a way that none of her dreams had come close to matching.  But.  Given the complete lack of reaction from Jessika at Rey’s first words, coupled with the distinct lack of nerves, shock, or perhaps even joy in the time after, it had become undeniably, excruciatingly apparent.  While Jessika was unquestionably Rey’s soulmate and it made Rey so happy she could hardly bear it, Rey didn’t belong to Jessika in that same all-consuming way.  And knowing that incontrovertible fact shattered her. 

            Never, in all of her dreams and hopes and wishes had Rey considered her words wouldn’t be permanently scrawled across her soulmates skin as well.  Never once had she thought the bond wouldn’t go both ways.  But now as she watched Jessika shove out of the diner as though she couldn’t get away fast enough, exquisite face fixed once more into a frown, there was no denying it.  Rey wasn’t meant for her _soulmate_.  Perhaps wasn’t meant for anyone at all.  Held frozen in shock and pain, it was only the loud voices of the customers behind her that jolted her into motion.  Struggling to hold it together until she was safe inside the privacy of the kitchen, Rey leaned weakly on the wall the moment she was through the swinging door.  Drawing in shuddering breaths, she jerked when suddenly Poe was there, the smile on his face quickly morphing into an expression of concern.  “What happened?” he demanded, aghast at the naked grief upon her face. 

            Bursting into sobs, as her dreams lay broken at her feet, Rey launched herself into his arms, and cried as he held her, murmuring soft sympathetic things she was too far gone to hear.  Cried all the harder now that she knew precisely who’s arms should could have one day been held in – and it seemed, never would be. 

 

 

“And I just, I wish I’d _said_ something,” Rey continued, the distress in her voice so evident an older man sitting at the high counter gave her a wide eyed look before sliding over one chair, away from the slightly hysterical waitress. 

            “Uh huh,” Poe replied, knowing better than to try and interject further.  Sure enough, she continued without pausing for breath. “I mean, obviously, she didn’t know she was my soulmate, so I can’t blame her for leaving-”

            “Right.”

            “But if I’d only, I don’t know, asked to see her again of something-”

            “Sure thing.  Rey, listen-” he started, then huffed out a small breath when she didn’t even loose speed.

            It had been approximately thirty hours since _the incident_.  Which was, hands down, just about the most awful thing he could fathom for his friend.  He loved Rey.  Wanted nothing but the best for her.  So having the one person who’s romantic heart and unwavering faith in the power of soulmates could keep Disney and Hallmark both in business with the power of her belief alone meet their soulmate and then be left with the prospect of never seeing them again – it was a crueler twist of fate then anything he could imagine. 

            It had taken her long minutes after collapsing into his sympathetic arms yesterday before she’d managed to explain it to him in halting sobs and choked out words, and after she had, Poe felt his own heart break for her.  Once he’d had the right of it, he’d soothed her enough to get through until the eight am staff came on, then had let the boss know they needed the day off before swiftly exiting the diner.  Fortunately, Bill, a reasonably sort of man, had taken one look at Rey who’s appearance approximated someone who’s dog had just been run over, and nodded them out the door.  Poe promptly hustled Rey to his flat where he fixed her all the comfort foods he knew she loved, tucked his favorite Star Wars snuggy around her, and listened with a supportive ear as she cursed fate.

            Now, Poe had zero experience with unrequited love, his own soulmate yet to make an appearance, and not being the type to read the advice columns in Cosmo, he had no idea how long the recovery period for such a devastating blow was, or how to speed it up.  And Rey was a bit more of a sensitive soul than most, so he knew this would be no easy thing to come back from.  Which he _understood_ , really he did.  But the problem was, they were back at work.  At the job that they both needed, to keep roofs over their heads and food on their tables.  Bill had been understanding yesterday, but unfortunately a broken heart wasn’t exactly covered by their health plan or time off allowance, so here they were.

            Poe had hoped she’d be able to pull it together well enough to get through.  Until Bill had swung into the kitchen and pinched the bridge of his nose, face strained as he said in an aggrieved tone, “Someone asked for a Coke and she burst into tears, Poe.  Please.  For the love of all that’s holy.  Can you try and talk to her?”

            So Poe had pulled off his apron, stepped out into the diner, and sighed when he saw Rey sniffling as she poured a soda, swiping her eyes impatiently with her arm, the table nearest her watching warily.  Grabbing her, he’d tugged her to the corner of the diner and tried to help her pull it together.  Which had somehow turned into her expressing her feelings.  Again.  And best friends they may be but, boy, did she have a lot of feelings.

            About to attempt to reel her back in, Poe was distracted as over her shoulder he saw someone outside slowly, almost cautiously moving towards the entrance.  _No_.  Was that actually Jessika?  Squinting slightly through the glass, Poe wasn’t certain he could make a positive id with the glare of the early morning sun on the window, and the fact this individual was actually dry, until he watched her reach for the handle.  Pause.  Jerk back her hand as though the metal would burn her.  Frown.  Oh yeah, he recognized the scowl, soggy or not. 

            “Uh, Rey-”

            “Sure, it might have been awkward but then I could at least have a _chance_ of seeing her again.”

            Turning about, Jessika clenched her fists at her sides as she stomped away, disappearing out of sight from the windows.  Until she reappeared ten seconds, striding towards the door with purpose, the frown on her face now an expression of grim determination.  Until she reached the door once more.  And just stood there.  And stood there.

            “Rey, seriously-”

            “I mean, who knows, she could have said yes to a casual hang out.”

            Still stood there.  Until she jumped when suddenly a group overtook her, clearly intent on entering the restaurant.  Poe watched the exchange play out like a silent film when she jumped back, and waved towards the door, as the group looked at her curiously, gesturing for her to go ahead.  Teeth baring in a vague approximation of a smile, Jessika pulled the door open, and forcefully motioned them in once more.  The group complied, the expressions on their face clearly saying they feared she might have shoved them if they hadn’t given in.  Then she continued to stand there, staring into the diner with her brows lowered, mouth in what could only be described in a glower.  Before she let go of the handle, door falling closed again as she whirled away to stand on the curb, gazing out at the street, hands fisted on her hips. 

            “It’s like you’re not even listening to me Poe!” Rey finished, her voice pitching, and rather than wasting his breath sighing, Poe simply grabbed Rey’s shoulders, and turned her until she was facing the same direction as him. “Poe, what are you-” she began before the breath was punched out of her lungs.  “Is that-”

            “You’ll soulmate returns.  Go get her tiger.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay Jessika is back? Now what for our duo?? Keep reading to find out! As always, kudos and happy comments make my day :)


	4. Chapter 4

Standing on the curb, tapping her fingers impatiently on her hips, Jessika heaved out a sigh.  What in the world was she doing here?  Well, that was a stupid question.  She knew exactly what she was doing here.  And it was all Finn’s fault. 

            Honestly, she hadn’t even intended to tell her best friend about the calamity that had been her morning.  Yet when she’d slammed to a screeching halt at the pickup curb of Heathrow Airport, Finn had calmly stowed his suitcase in the boot of the car, then slid into the passenger seat, and simply stared at her.  “Welcome home!” she exclaimed, sending him a bright, winning smile, hoping he’d fail to mention, well, anything.  Finn continued to stare.  Smile sliding away, she sighed.  Threw on her blinker and slid back into traffic, albeit at a more reasonable speed.  “I’m not _that_ late,” she muttered, feeling his unblinking eyes on her, hoping that was the only reason for the stare down.  Although that wasn’t strictly true.  Even five minutes late was too much, for some who punctuality was practically a religion.  And she was a bit more than five minutes overdue.  She really hated being late.

            When he just continued to stare, Jessika scowled, refusing to give into his Jedi mind tricks.  Somehow, and after a decade of friendship she still didn’t know _how_ , Finn had a way of staring her into submission until she spilled, whether it was about a hair brain scheme, a guilty confession, or where she’d hidden the last of her girlscout cookies.  The only possible way around it was to deflect, and quickly.  “So, how was your flight?”

            Finn broke his Jedi power stare long enough to roll his eyes.  “Yeah, it was just fine.  Pretty quiet.  Pretty _dry_.  Unlike your morning, apparently.”  Okay, so she hadn’t taken the time to change her clothes before driving like a lunatic to the airport.  It would only delay her further.  And she _really_ hated being late. 

            “Stupid lying weathermen with their lying liar faces,” she grumbled, before glancing over at Finn in time to see his pull out his final weapon. The single lifted eyebrow of doom.  “Fine!  Fine, fine,  _fine_ ,” she folded, throwing her hands up in defeat from his expert interrogation tactics before gasping the steering wheel again.  She’d hoped if she could just pretend none of the last eighteen hours had ever happened, she might feel better.  But perhaps venting it out would make her realize it wasn’t all so bad after all.

            “I had a nightmare of a night shift where every single person I spoke to refused to believe someone without a gosh-dang British accent could possibly possess any intelligence or the ability to help them.  Then I was walking home from the tube because I wanted to be a decent human being who cares about carbon emissions and the environment, plus the weatherman said it was supposed to be clear and I didn’t like taking an umbrella when they don’t predict rain because I feel like that’s an invitation to the universe to rain regardless, but it rained anyways.  So I was wet and cold and cranky and then I magically found this diner which is crazy because I’ve googled it and there are only three ‘American’ diners in the entirety of London, and let’s be honest two of them couldn’t pull off American no matter how hard they tried.  So I go in like a crazy person and demand a burger, which I got, and it was amazing, but I totally made a fool of myself in front of this waitress who was really… well she was nice despite me being a lunatic.” 

            By this point of her narrative, Finn’s other eyebrow had joined the first high up on his forehead, yet at the very noticeable pause and redirect, his brows thoughtfully lowered.  “But then I realized I was late so I had to leave without even, well, whatever.  And I ran home and the rain was even worse and I didn’t have time to change and now, of _course_ , the rain has just disappeared and I’m finding that rainbow that appeared in the sky over there a mockery of my day, and a personal affront.”  Huffing out a breath, Jessika paused, considered how she felt having gushed all that out like a tsunami of terrible luck.  Nope, it didn’t seem better after venting.  If anything, if kind of seemed worse.  Slumping, she glanced back at Finn when he gave her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. 

            “You realize what you have to do now, right?” he questioned, his tone making it evident the answer should be obvious.

            “Go home, take a nap, and forget the last eighteen hours ever happened?” Jessika guessed hopefully.  He rolled his eyes once more, and Jessika wondered vaguely how many times in their lengthy friendship she’d inspired that reaction in him.  Clearly, not so obvious.

            “Not exactly.”

            And so, with his infinite wisdom, Finn had insisted she go back to the diner.  Apologize for leaving since it clearly made her feel lousy.  And ask the waitress to hang out, because clearly Jessika needed more friends if she got into this much trouble when Finn was out of the country for more than a few days at a time.

            Now, Jessika had rolled her eyes right back at Finn.  Said there was no way she was going back, when she would certainly only end up embarrassing herself more.  And besides, why did she need more friends when she had an impressive dvd collection and a large queue stacking up on Netflix?  All perfectly sound reasoning in her opinion.  But somehow, and she seriously needed to figure out _how_ , Finn seemed to use some form of mind control, because despite her arguments, here she was.  And she felt stupid. 

            Stupid for letting him talk her into what was clearly a bad idea.  Even more stupid that now that she’d shown up, she couldn’t just woman up and get it over with.  That was lame.  She just felt stupid.  Running her hands through her hair, she sighed.  Firmed her shoulders.  Jessika may be a lot of things, but she was no wienie.  “Just get it over with,” she muttered to herself.  Swung around to grasp the door once more.  And shrieked, almost falling over as she narrowly missed colliding straight into Rey, who had just shoved the door open, an uncertain look on her face.

            “Oh my goodness, you scared me!” Jessika gasped, shoving a hand over the heart trying to leap right out of her chest, mortification flaming in her cheeks at nearly taking out the cute waitress.  She’d been right.  She’d only embarrassed herself more.  Seriously, this three block radius was like a Bermuda triangle only instead of her getting hopelessly lost, she was instead trapped in a tragic state of increasing awkwardness.

            “I’m so sorry, are you okay?” Rey asked anxiously, staring at Jessika with wide eyes, and Jessika simply could not handle it.  Casting her eyes up at the heavens, she gave a meaningful glare at the God mocking her, and sighed before looking back at Rey once more, managing to get her breathing back under control. 

            “Please.  Do _not_ apologize to me.  That’s what I’m supposed to be doing right now.”  When Rey frowned in confusion and looked like she was going to interrupt, Jessika held up a hand.  “No, no, let me just get this out.  I am sorry for uh, basically how we met, and every moment after that.  I swear I’m not normally a wet lunatic before six am, but I just had a crazy night and I needed a burger, and then you were really nice, and I was definitely planning on mopping up after myself but I realized I was late to pick up a friend from the airport and so I didn’t get to apologize or thank you or, anything really.  So, I’m here to say sorry.  And thank you.” 

            Rey had stood still, her eyes wide as she listen to the tumble of words, yet by the end of it, a grin had stretched across her face.  And seeing it, that genuinely glowing smile with just ridiculously unfairly adorable dimples, Jessika realized Finn was right.  Not that she’d give him the satisfaction of admitting.  But that was likely irrelevant given he would probably just stare at her and deduce it with his mind powers.  Regardless, as she felt her heart rate spike the slightest bit again as she basked in the glow of that smile that seriously felt warmer than the sun, Jessika admitted she wanted to be here.  To see Rey again.  And was sincerely grateful she hadn’t actually managed to run Rey over like a crazed steam roller.  Bodily injury was one thing she didn’t want added to her already length list of things necessitating an apology

            “That is very sweet of you.  I’m so glad you came here . . . to say that.  But really, no apology needed.  You visit was certainly the most, uh, eventful part of my day.” 

            Covering her face with her hands as she let out an embarrassed laugh, Jessika couldn’t help the follow up groan.  “You are such a liar.  But thank you for that.”  Sighing, she dropped her hands, then smiled.  “So.  Okay, this is probably weird, but I think we’ve established that’s just my M.O.  And please don’t feel like you have to say yes or anything, but I was wondering, if you want, maybe you’d like to hang out some time or-”

            “Yes!”

            Blinking in surprise at the outburst, Jessika’s hesitant smile grew in to her own grin, spreading even wider as she saw the way Rey flushed, took a measured breath.  “Yes.  That would be awesome.”

            “Wow, really?  I mean, yeah.  Yes.  That’s great.”  Running a hand through her hair, Jessika realized she hadn’t actually considered that Rey would be nuts enough to want to hang out with her.  Therefore, she hadn’t planned anything past that.  Like, what happened _next_.  And as she tried to reason out what that subsequent step should be, she had to chuckle at the both of them, standing there like two awkward dorks when the door swung open once more, nearly nailing both of them as a couple of sullen looking teenagers came out, glaring at them for having the sheer audacity of being in the way.  Normally Jessika disagreed with sullen teenagers on principal, but in this case, they might have a point.  Hanging out in the doorway of a busy establishment wasn’t the brightest idea.

            “But maybe not right here on the sidewalk.  Um, so you could let me know when you’re free?  And we could figure something out from there.”

             “She’s free right now!” Jolting at the sudden, enthusiastic and unexpected voice, Jessika actually reached out and tugged Rey out of the way of the swinging door this time, thinking they really needed to wise up and step away from this stoop that clearly saw more traffic that the London Underground.  Staring at the handsome man who was also slightly alarming with the vaguely manic expression on his face, she glanced back at Rey for a clue as how to proceed with this plot development.

            When Rey opened her mouth to say _something_ , the gentleman yanked on the tie of her waist apron and pulled it free with one hand even as he shoved her purse into her arms with his other.  “Bosses orders, you’re off for the day.  Go have fun!  Fun, fun, fun!”

             The females both watched in various stages of surprise when the attractive yet possibly crazy man shut the door firmly behind him, then gestured broadly at them to move along, making a restaurant patron duck to avoid getting smacked in the face by his wildly swinging arm. 

            “So,” Jessika began, turning back to Rey with a smile that was finally devoid of all lingering embarrassment.  Clearly she wasn’t the only person with pushy friends.  “How do you feel about the zoo?”

 

 

Rey thought she might be going into shock.  She tried to run down the symptoms she knew compliments of her extensive tv cop drama addiction, but was having a hard time coming up with anything.  Then again, diminished mental acuity probably _was_ a symptom of shock, proving she had it.  Regardless, she was definitely drifting in a state of disbelief that yesterday she’d met her soulmate, felt the soul crushing devastation of believing she’d never see her again, and now the two of them stood before the wallaby exhibit, studying the animals inside intently.  Well, Jessika was staring at them, brows furrowed as she watched them hop around with apparent fascination, whereas Rey was studying Jessika.  Though she was trying to be subtle about it.  Really though, how could she not?  One second she’d been moping to Poe, the next she’d been walking through the lovely morning sunshine, next to Jessika, who’d kept up a steady stream of conversation about how much she loved zoos, how it was convenient this one was so close to home, and if she’d ever become a billionaire she’d visit every zoo in existence.  Fascinated, Rey had asked which zoo was Jessika’s favorite so far, and that had kept her going until they’d made it to the entrance where Jessika shouted down Rey’s protests, and bought both their tickets. 

            Well, of course that meant Rey insisted on buying the cotton candy, and so they two of them had walked around with sticky fingers and sugary mouths as they enjoyed the relatively empty zoo, compliments of it being a Tuesday morning.  But Jessika had clearly forgotten all about hers as she stared with complete absorption at the marsupials hopping around, oblivious or uncaring of their human audience.  “I’ve never seen a wallaby before,” Jessika finally breathed, turning to Rey who jolted at being caught staring.  Damn it.  So much for subtle.  Really, though, who could blame her?  Yesterday Jessika had been beautiful.  But today – she was exquisite.  Part of it was probably the fact that she was dry.  But mostly it was just her, the way she moved the frame that was only a few inches shorter than Rey, but was all divine curves to Rey’s lean build.  How she gestured at everything widely, how her grin curved sculpted lips, how her dark eyes lit up when she saw the penguins.  How could Rey be expected to look anywhere else but this absorbing individual that was her soulmate?  She seriously didn’t want to be caught at it though, doing her best _not_ to come off as creepy. But Jessika didn’t seem to notice as she continued on the subject with the intensity and seriousness of someone discussing rocket science.  “They’re so adorable.  I want one.”

            That startled a laugh out of Rey.  “Oh I bet your neighbors would love it.  Something hopping around at all hours, keeping them awake.”

            Jessika grinned, rubbed at the back of her neck almost sheepishly.  “Well, that’s not too far off from how it is now.  They already hate me.  I’m pretty sure the people below me are petitioning the building to have me evicted.”

            “What?  Oh my god, what did you do?  You’re not like, a crazy ax murderer are you?” Rey demanded in astonishment, even as she considered whether an affirmative response would make Rey come to her senses and run screaming.  Probably not, she admitted to herself.  Which meant she was likely just as crazy. 

            “No!” Jessika snorted out a laugh, giving Rey a shove, the brief contact making Rey’s heart beat double time.  Yup, definitely crazy.  “I work night shift, so I’m always walking around at weird hours.  And my third grade ballet classes were a bit of a fiasco, so alas, I’ve never learned to walk delicately.”  Giving the wallabies one last glance, Jessika turned and they started heading towards the bearded pigs.

            “What do you do?  If you don’t mind me asking,” Rey added hastily.  True, she wanted to learn everything about the shorter female, but despite her crazy self-diagnosis, she didn’t want _Jessika_ to know that. 

            Jessika smiled at her, giving her a friendly elbow nudge before leaning casually on the wall of the enclosure, admiring the porcine inhabitants, who were a good deal lazier than their hopping neighbors.  Still pretty cute though.  Great facial hair.  “Of course not.  I didn’t drag you all the way to the zoo to give you the silent treatment.  I work at a call center for an insurance company.  Which is just populated with the most delightful customers, let me tell you.”  Rolling her eyes, Jessika still smiled, and it was just one more thing in a growing collection of things Rey liked about her.  Cranky burger demanding explosion aside, Jessika seemed to be an largely upbeat person.  It was nice.  Everything about this was nice, Rey was discovering. 

            “And do you like it?” 

            Jessika shrugged easily.  “Not really.  But it keeps me in beer and nachos so I can’t complain.”

            “So what _do_ you want to be when you grow up?  Zoologist?  Burger connoisseur?  Umbrella tester?”  Feeling the warm glow inside her at being around Jessika burn brighter when Jessika threw her head back and laughed loud enough to attract attention from the bored teen manning a drink stand, she said a little prayer of thanks for Poe shoving her on way.  To think, she might have missed out on this.

            “Wow, those all sound so appealing.  Uh, nothing really.  I mean when I was a kid I had a burning desire to be Shirley Temple, but that didn’t really pan out.  I dunno.  So long as I can support myself, that’s what’s most important to me.”

            Hearing just an edge of vulnerability, quickly masked by a subtle guardedness, Rey wondered at it, when she was distracted by Jessika’s gasp.  “Ooo, look at the alpacas!  They’re so fluffy!  I like them better than llamas,” Jessika leaned in to confessed in an almost whisper.  Rey wasn’t sure why, until she noticed the llamas were in the next enclosure, and deduced that Jessika didn’t want to hurt their feelings.  Which was adorable.  “Did you know alpacas are actually sometimes used as therapy animals?  Instead of dogs.  Not exactly as easy to get into a restaurant or store, but apparently they have the temperament for it.”  And off Jessika went, telling Rey all about this ranch in Oregon that had service alpacas that could be rented out for events. 

            And so before Rey knew it, they’d ringed the entire zoo and Jessika was tugging her into the small gift shop, while Rey did her best to not blurt out just how much she’d liked that.  Jessika was clearly the physical type, and had been making small gestures all afternoon, like touching her hand before pointing the aardvarks out, slinging an arm around Rey’s shoulder for a moment, elbowing her every time she told a delightfully horrible joke.  It was wonderful.  Now, she blinked to focus back in when Jessika emitted what could only be described as a squeal, making a beeline for the wall of stuffed animals. 

            “Oh my goodness, look how cute they are!” she exclaimed, grabbing a stuffed alpaca who grinned up at her with its fuzzy little face.  Beaming up at Rey, she confessed, “I have to admit, I have a huge weakness for stuffed animals.  It’s probably concerning.  Ooo I’ve got a joke.  Okay, okay, what did the alpaca say when asked if he wanted to go on vacation?”

            “I have no idea,” Rey laughed.

            “Alpaca my bags!” she delivered the punchline with a triumphant grin, which only spread when Rey groaned.         

            “Oh my god, that’s terrible.  And amazing.  Thank you, truly, for that comedic gem.  I shall treasure it forever.”

            “As well you should,” Jessika inclined her head regally.  “Also, I’m buying us alpacas.  Because they’re just too cute not to.”

            Which is how she found herself clutching an alpaca as they stood outside the zoo once more, Jessika holding her matching stuffie which she’d already named Gerald as she stared around before giving Rey a slightly awkward smile.  But she made no motion to leave.  “So.  Uh-” Jessika began, before running a hand through her hair.  “This was a lot of fun.  Thanks for coming out with me today.”

            “No, thank you for asking.  I had a great time.  Thanks again for my yet to be named alpaca.”  When Jessika just smiled, before rocking back on her heels, Rey firmed her shoulders.  She could do this – extend the day, ask Jessika out to dinner.  Not that it was a date.  Not that any part of this day had been a date.  Not that’d she’d ever _been_ on a date.  So while she had nothing to compare to, she had a feeling if this had been a date, it would be the best one ever.  And she wasn’t ready for it to be done.

            “Listen.  There’s a Chinese place just a minute away.  Would you, uh, are you hungry for dinner?”

            “Yeah, that’s sounds awesome!” Jessika said, and Rey huffed out a little breath of relief.  See, not so hard, she told herself.  Maybe next time she wouldn’t hesitate at all.  If there was a next time.  She hoped there was a next time.

            An hour later, she knew she was going to insist on a next time.  And watching Jessika animatedly gesture with an egg roll, she had to smile at herself for how naïve she’d been up until today.  Rey had always known she would love her soulmate.  They’d be the perfect fit, her other half, the jelly to her toast.  But she’d never thought about _liking_ them.  About learning about them.  She’d assumed love at first sight, while she wouldn’t now say that hadn’t been true, Rey was discovering just how wonderful it was to absorb every fact, every smile, every moment Jessika was sharing with her.  More, she loved when Jessika asked her questions in turn, seeming just as eager to discover all the little things that made Rey who she was. 

            “So, I’m guessing the accent is real.  Did you grow up in London?” Jessika questioned as she forked up more pork fried rice. 

            Rey chuckled, sighed.  “Oh lord, I wish I had.  Mmm, no, grew up in Framlingham, Suffolk.”  Laughed when Jessika paused, fork half way to her mouth, brows raised.  “I know, trust me I know.  Population, three thousand.  A hundred miles from anywhere fun.  Poe and I grew up there and promised each other solemnly when we were out of school, we were out of there.”

            “And now you’re a sophisticated Londoner.  Londonite?  Londonian?” Jessika mused, grinning when Rey snorted out a laugh.

            “Something like that.  What about you?  What made you chose to come to jolly ol’ London?  Unless your accent is fake and you really are from here but want to seem more exotic.” 

            Watching with interest as Jessika nearly snorted out her drink, coughing raspily before she managed to get herself back under control, Jessika pointed a finger at Rey.  “You are ridiculous.  The accent is real, but if you think an American accent makes someone exotic you really do need to get out more.”  Rolling her eyes, Jessika none the less smiled at Rey affectionately, which Rey appreciated entirely, but couldn’t help but notice the evasion.  And couldn’t help but pursue it, needing to know more about her soulmate on a level that was visceral.

            “So, if you are from America, what brought you here?  Did you move with your family?” Rey prompted, non-demandingly she hoped.  Yet when Jessika’s face fell, before Rey could actually _see_ Jessika rearrange her features into a neutral expression, she regretted pushing it equally as much as she burned to know the answer more than ever.  Wanted to know what about the subject caused Jessika some sort of pain, so Rey could do her best to never cause that expression again. 

            Seeming to really search for words for the first time all afternoon, Jessika finally slowly replied.  “No.  Just me.  I just wanted to get away from my – from where I was from.”  Noticing the deliberate avoidance of the word home, Rey felt her heart ache the slightest bit even as she was desperate to know the reason for it.  “I would have gone anywhere, really.  But somewhere English speaking seemed like a smart choice, and I have a friend, Finn, who lives here, so I thought, why not?”

            Forcing her own voice to be as light as Jessika’s, Rey smiled at the female.  “That’s nice, to have a friendly face when you move.  Do you like it here?”

            “Well, unexpected rain showers aside-” Jessika deadpanned, and this time Rey laughed, the sound genuine.  “Yeah, it’s nice.  Different, but good.  Finn’s been awesome about helping me get settled.  He’s actually the one I left yesterday to get from the airport.  What about you, are you happy with your move?”

            “I am.  Now more than ever,” Rey admitted, and instantly wondered if she’d revealed too much. Yet Jessika’s gaze, which had never moved away from her during the whole evening, seemed to darken, to deepen.

            “Yeah.  Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for cute zoo dates! That's definitely what I would love in a date. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, kudos and positive comments are much appreciated if you did!
> 
> Side note - I know that logically, it would have made more sense to make Finn Rey's bff, and for Poe to be Jessika's. But it just didn't happen that way. Sorry. Was anyone bothered by that? Did anyone notice? Lol. Perhaps not, I just felt like it needed an explanation. It's an AU so please obligingly roll with it if this distressed you :)


	5. Chapter 5

Two days later, Jessika was cursing herself for being an idiot.  Which sadly, wasn’t an infrequent occasion.  But normally it was for something like being distracted while making brownies and cracking eggs into the sink instead of into the bowl, which in the grand scheme of life didn’t rate above a two or three on the idiocy scale.  But this – this had to measure in at a ten.  Falling dramatically face down on the couch, Jessika sighed windily before muttering to herself in annoyance.  Hearing her front door open then close, she only sighed again.  Before continuing her muttering, being on a pretty good self-pity streak and not fancying having it interrupted.  As it would inevitably be by the only individual who, A) had a key to her door, and B) used it without compunction or fear he’d walk in on her dancing naked to the Bare Naked Ladies.  Which _had_ happened once.  Given the band name, it had only seemed like the right thing to do-  it wasn’t her fault she’d gained un unexpected and horrified audience.  She had hoped the experience would be scarring enough to encourage some sort of warning before entering, but clearly Finn was too stubborn to learn from his mistakes.  Probably what made them such good friends.  High compatibility in terms of stupidity.  Not that he’d ever admit it.  She on the other hand was more than willing to confess it – to herself that is.  Trailing off her muttering when she heard Finn step into the living room, hanging up his jacket before pausing, she heard him demand, “And who is this?”

            Leaving her face squashed into the cushion, she replied “Gerald”, not needing to look up to know he was staring at her stuffie, likely with an eyebrow raised at the newest addition to a toy collection that absolutely needed no expansion.  Turning her face just enough to get a glimpse of him, she felt a small surge of satisfaction to see her supposition had been correct, Finn standing with his fists at his waist, staring down at the happily smiling alpaca with one arched brow.  Did she know her friend, or did she know her friend?

            “Alright.  Time to stop mopping like a bad teenage vampire movie character,” Finn stated firmly, abandoning Gerald to come plop down in the squashy chair across from Jessika, his face stern.  Crap.  Her friend knew her as well, and in this instance that brought no satisfaction.  He was going to ruin her pity party, she just knew it. 

            “I’m not moping,” she moped in a moping voice.   Finn didn’t roll his eyes, but she could see it was a close call.

            “Seriously, what’s the deal.  I thought you had a great time the other night?”

            She sighed.  Decided the subject demanded she sit up, the better to gesture expressively.  “I _did_.  I had an awesome time.  The weather the great, the zoo was enjoyable, though not nearly as impressive as say, the Denver zoo, but you can’t blame them, London just doesn’t have _room_ for a park of that size.  They did really well with what they have though, really well planned exhibits and informative plaques-”

            “I was actually referring to the company,” Finn interjected, because he did know his best friend.  And knew that unchecked, she could soliloquize over the zoo for the next hour.  And he was on a bit of a schedule.  Help his bestie through her current crises, stop off at Pret for a pastry which he cursed Jessika for introducing him to because damn they were addictive, and then catch the rugby match at the local pub with some of his mates.  Watching with interest as she broke off, and a flush began to work its way into her cheeks.  Interesting.

            “Oh.  Well, yeah.  That was great too.  Rey is nice.  Really nice.  Just like I thought when I first met her.”

            “Okay. So what’s the problem?” Finn questioned.

            “Uh.  Nothing.  Why do you think there’s a problem?  There’s no problem.  Zero problem.”

            No eye roll, but there was a sigh as Finn conspicuously checked his watch.  “Jessika.”

            “Alright, fine!  I’m an idiot.  Happy?”

            “Well, sure, I already knew that.  But I love you anyways.”

            “Gee thanks,” she replied, even as she had to smile.  “Love you too.”

            “We’re just a big old pile of love.  Seriously though, what had you face first in your couch?  This isn’t some Fabreeze commercial is it?  Will I end up on tele?”

            “Hardly.  Although now you mention, I probably should Fabreeze the couch.  It could use some springy freshness.”  Looking down, Jessika tangled her fingers in her lap before huffing out one last sigh.  “I _did_ have a great time. And I am reasonably confident she did too – she smiled a _lot_.  Great smile.  Seriously, it’s just like. . . like the sun.  We talked the whole time, and she laughed at my terrible jokes, and it was all just great.”

            “That’s fantastic Jessika,” Finn said, all traces of joking aside.  Though he’d never tell Jessika, because she’d likely punch him in the gut for the sentiment, he’d worried a bit after her move.  They’d been friends since primary school, when he’d been on exchange to a school in the states, and had meet young Jessika.  Though slow to develop, their friendship had been rock solid ever since, and Finn had been ecstatic that she’d taken his suggestion of London when she’d expressed her burning desire to get away.  To run away might be a more apt term, though he couldn’t blame her for it.  Any more than he blamed her for why she was as guarded as she was, young Jessika finally confiding in him the battle zone that was her home life.  So he’d understood perfectly her desire to get away, and had been only too happy to help her untangle the red tape, to be there for her as she started her new life in London.  Yet he’d hoped that once she’d settled in, some of the guard she hefted would drop, now that she was miles away and an ocean apart from the grief of her youth.

            Yet while Jessika was always her sunny, friendly self, she was still deeply reserved and private, and none of the friendly associations she’d developed had progressed into true friendships.  He’d never seen her want them to.  Until now.  So while he reserved the right to tease her indefinitely for such an unorthodox start to a friendship, he also intensely wanted it to work out.

            “Yeah.  Yeah it is.  Except like a moron I didn’t get her phone number, or give her mine.  And she didn’t ask.  So now that’s the end of it I guess.”

            Brows pulling together, Finn watched as Jessika rolled onto her back with a huff, limbs splaying like a despondent starfish. 

            “You could just go see her again,” Finn suggested, Jessika groaning while throwing her arm over her eyes in response.

            “Yeah, if I want to look like a _stalker_.  Once is semi reasonable.  Twice is begging for a restraining order.  If she didn’t try to get my number, it seems pretty clear that she doesn’t want to hang out again, no matter what I _thought_ while we were hanging out…” Trailing off, she let her arm fall away, the better to stare dejectedly at the ceiling.

            “ _Or,_ ” he drew out the syllable.  “She’s just as much an idiot as you, and didn’t even think about it until after the fact.  However, unlike you, she has no way to track you down.  Ball’s in your court, Jessika.  You can either take a chance, show up, assume she wants to see you again like every damn sign has indicated, or let your possible mutual derpiness keep you from seeing someone I know you want to know better.”

            Tearing her eyes away from the ceiling, Jessika tilted her head enough to look at her best friend, and the one person who would always tell her the truth, whether she wanted it or not.  Maybe.  Just maybe he was right.  Maybe she should just show up, _again_ , and see what happened.  And maybe part of the reason she hadn’t already done just that was because of how much she actively yearned to do so.  What was it about Rey that made everything feel so urgent, so quickly?  Unsure she wanted, or was ready for the answer, Jessika bit her lip pensively.

            “I’ll think about it.  Promise,” she added hastily when she could just see he was about to give her the Jedi stare down, holding her hand up in oath position.  “Either way, I’ll wait another day.  The better to avoid getting thrown in jail for stalking.  I hear food in London prison is crap.”

 

 

 It had seemed like a good plan.  A solid one.  Reasonable.  Mature.  One that would give her time to think.  To consider the fact that she, a cautious, wary soul who took forever making her mind up about people before committing to anything deeper than the shallowest of friendships had felt an instant connection to the waitress.  One that had only grown at their second meeting, and seeing just how easy it had been spending time together.  Easy and happy.  It hadn’t been a giant firework explosion of knowledge at the front of her mind, but rather a quiet, insistent voice that had insisted, _yes_ , this was important.  It made her all the more wary for its soundless persistence.

            So.  Needless to say, she’d never run into this before, and felt more than a little unprepared to handle it.  And while there was an exasperated voice inside of her firmly insisting she not avoid something good, the rest of her felt cautious. All that added up told her a little time was a good idea.  And likely, after another day, she’d realize she was making something out of nothing.  Feeling more confident with the decision made, steadier feeling like she had things under control, Jessika peeled herself off the couch and joined Finn for a pastry at Pret, because honestly, _pastries_ , before waving him off for his day of sports and beer with the boys.  Decided since she was out she’d go shopping.  Nothing like a little retail therapy to get her feeling square.  Jogging down the steps into the underground, blessing the readily available mass transit in London when driving anywhere was a nightmare, particularly when a year later she still wanted to be on the right side of the road, which was obviously the _right_ side, she hopped onto the tube.  And let out a laughing little groan when she squeezed into the crowded compartment, eyes absently scanning the bored, resigned, and asleep faces of the other passengers, and saw the last one she’d ever expected to see.  Well, maybe the second – the first being Tom Hiddleston.  She kept expecting to run into the British actor on one form of mass transit or another, having witnessed the candid photos other Tumblr users had taken of the actor out and about in London.

            Casting her eyes up at towards the fates who were having a merry time screwing with her, Jessika huffed out an annoyed, “Fine.  Fine, fine, _fine._   I get it, alright?”  Casting a glare that was both wary and affronted that someone dare break the rule of silence on the underground, the commuter standing nearest her shuffled a few safe inches away.  Whatever.  Jessika had already accepted in the last several days she was basically nuts.  Confirmation from a random stranger was just the cherry on top of her nut sprinkled sundae.

            Maneuvering her way through the other travelers who stirred themselves from their zombie expressions long enough to glare at her, Jessika ignored them all as she made her way toward her target.  And upon arriving in front of her, Jessika wasted no time in plopping down.  Right in Rey’s lap.  


	6. Chapter 6

Eyes glazed over from staring blankly out the window at the brick tunnel flashing by inches away from the glass, Rey wondered vaguely how heroes and villains in action movies managed to have dramatic fights in tube tunnels, narrowly missing being hit by a train but always managing to squeeze out of the way at the last moment.  Clearly this took place in subways other than London, who must have tried to save time and money by making the tunnels just large enough for the trains.  Economical, but not encouraging of epic underground battles.  As she contemplated this further, Rey was oblivious of the individual shuffling through the packed car.  Until said individual sat straight on her. 

            Huffing out a breath that was literally squished out of her, Rey grunted in shock as she blinked at the back of the lady who seemed completely unaware of the fact she was settled on top of another human being.  “Seriously?” she demanded, when the female just continued to sit there.  Rey was all too well versed in how easy it was to lose brain capacity and politeness while making the way through the underground system, people jostling into each other with absolutely no regard or concern.  But for someone to actually sit on her like she was invisible!  Sure, she might be wearing blue in a similar shade to the seats in desperate need of an upgrade, but still.  This was ridiculous.  Right when Rey was about to give the rude commuter a helpful shove, and a much less friendly word, she twisted around and beamed down at Rey.

            “Oh my gosh, fancy meeting you here!  I didn’t even _see_ you!” Jessika exclaimed with a wide grin, before dissolving into helpless laughter at the shock on Rey’s face.

            Blinking up into the face that had occupied all of her recent thoughts not engaged in subterranean battles, Rey’s mouth fell open.  “Jessika?” she demanded, and felt more than a little addled as she stared at that gorgeous smile, black eyes glittering with laughter, though this likely had more to do with the soulmate in her lap than the recycled air in the tiny compartment.

            Obviously trying to hold back her snorting laughter, Jessika managed to calm herself a bit.  “Sorry, sorry, I couldn’t help myself.  You just looked so zoned out.  But I’m squashing you.  Here,” she said, levering herself back up, grabbing onto the railing overhead as she stood. 

            “Oh, no, that’s okay, I don’t mind-” Rey insisted quickly, and Jessika had to grin again even as she shook her head. 

            “You are way too polite.  But I’d rather not be arrested for homicide by smothering.”

            “Really, it’s fine-” Rey began again, and Jessika just rolled her eyes before yanking the surprised brunette to her feet, claiming the seat herself, then tugging Rey down into her own lap. 

            “There.  How’s that?” Jessika questioned with a winning smile, arms looped loosely around Rey’s waist. 

            Rey still felt short of breath but this time it had nothing to do with the air being pressed out of her, and everything to do with the unexpected and delightful contact.  “Well.  This is definitely the most thrilling tube ride I’ve ever had,” she responded, had the delight of hearing Jessika laugh again. 

            “We aim to please.  So.  Where you headed?” Jessika questioned conversationally, as though this were all a perfectly normal turn of events. 

            “Um, home actually.  Just finished up at the diner.”

            “Oh nice.  Back to hang out with your as of yet unnamed alpaca?” Jessika asked, appreciating the way the dimples popped in Rey’s cheek at the question.  Okay, so maybe she didn’t need to know why she liked Rey so instantly.  Maybe she could stop avoiding something good, and just enjoy it.  Because as she held the slimmer female in her arms, she couldn’t avoid the truth.  She didn’t just like her – Jessika _liked_ her.  And avoiding her for days when Jessika could have been having Rey smiling that wide wide smile at her instead, seemed pretty stupid.

            “Pretty much.  And his name is Alfred.”

            “Alfred, huh?  Alfred the alpaca.  I like it.  So, listen.  I had a really great time with you the other day.”

            “Me too!” Rey interjected, bracing a hand on the pole next to her when the train jolted along.

            “Well, good, that makes this easier.  Um, I kind of feel like an idiot for not trading numbers with you.  That is, if you want to-”

            “Yes!  Yes, I’d like that.”  And this time Jessika didn’t waste any time feeling embarrassed, not when it was clear Rey wanted that, perhaps if not as _much_ as she did, but wanted it all the same.

            “Great.  You have your phone handy?”  Jessika questioned, to which Rey levered herself up long enough to slide it out of her back pocket, unlock it, and hand it to Jessika.  Quickly sending herself a text, she smiled as the hunger game whistle sounded from her purse.  “Perfect.  Now we can actually meet up again on purpose.”

            Rey chuckled.  “Though there’s something to be said for these spontaneous meetings.  Unless of course you’re actually stalking me.”  Jessika could actually feel the blood drain out of her face, then quickly rush back in when Rey started cracking up at her expression.  “Don’t worry, I don’t think you’re _actually_ stalking me, I swear.  Although that would be very flattering.”

            Both girls glanced up when the speaker announced the next stop approaching, and Jessika forced herself to keep her arms relaxed at the idea of Rey disembarking, rather than clinging.  Sitting on someone was one thing – holding them hostage was definitely another.

            “That’s my stop next.  Where are you headed?” Rey questioned, and Jessika wondered whether she was imaging the intensity in her voice as she asked.

            “Um, nowhere specific.  Thought I’d do some shopping for lack of anything better to do,” Jessika shrugged.  Watched Rey bite her lip, and stare off for a moment as she seemed to consider something.  Before the brunette nodded sharply as the train came to a stop. 

            “Okay then.  You’re coming with me instead,” Rey spoke decisively, hopping to her feet and tugging Jessika to hers as well, pulling her out of the train. 

            “Oh yeah?  You’re giving me something better to do?” Jessika questioned, before mentally face palming.  Worst line ever.  But, then again, maybe not, when Rey grinned at her over her shoulder as they hopped on the escalator toward the street.  And Jessika decided hostage situations weren’t bad after all – when she was the one being kidnapped.

            “Maybe.  You look like you could use a walk in the park.”

            “A walk in the park?”

            Ten minutes later, Jessika saw this hadn’t been an obscure British euphemism.  They really were walking in the park.  And as the noisy sounds of London that never disappeared entirely filtered a bit through the green and the sunlight, she smiled, tipping her face up to the sunshine. 

            “You were right.  This is better.” 

            “Success,” Rey replied lightly, even as she basked in the warmth.  Though in her case it was from Jessika’s company rather than the sun.  “I love this park.  It’s part of why I decided on the flats on the other side.  So I could have this walk every day.”

            “It’s a good one.  Didn’t know this place was here.” Turning to meet Rey’s gaze, Jessika slowed as she saw something moving behind that gaze.  Something she didn’t know how to interpret yet, but something that left her feeling freer than she ever had before to let her eyes linger on that face.  It was one of a kind, and Jessika truly had never seen anything like it before.  Dark, slashing brows, deep brown eyes, a narrow nose, angled jaw line and a wide mouth so easy to smile.  The blend of features shouldn’t have worked, yet somehow they did, creating a face that wasn’t just pretty, but arresting.  Staring at it, feeling her own features under an equal scrutiny but for some reason not worrying she might not measure up, Jessika realized they’d both stopped walking.  And okay.  Okay, maybe she didn’t just _like_ Rey.  Maybe she really liked her.  Jessika angled herself towards Rey.  “Listen-”

            Whatever she was about to say was lost by the shouting that had them both turning.  Blinking in surprise when they watched a Dalmatian trailing a leash running full out on the path, Jessika felt her heart jolt in alarm as she protectively grabbed Rey and jerked her out of the way, adrenaline surging in a latent reaction to being bitten by a dog as a child.  Yet the canine had no interest in the two, darting straight by them before knocking an oblivious runner jamming out to headphones straight to the ground.  While the jogger lay winded and stunned in the grass as the dog leaped around him with maniacal joy and tried to lick every exposed inch of his face, a female ran over, panting as she clutched a hitch in her side.  “Oh. . . my… goodness.  I am so sorry!  He got away from me!”

            “No no, it’s fine.  I always end my runs flat out on the ground,” the jogger wheezed as the owner finally managed to grab the dogs collar, who continued to attempt to lunge a the jogger, delirious affection on the canine’s face.  Struggling to control the enthusiastic pooch, while also extending a helping hand to the tackled jogger, it took a moment before the female paused, a look of shock taking over her features even as he clasped hands with her. 

            “Wait.  Did you- are we?” she began, a luminous smile breaking over her face even as he grinned down at her, jokingly making a show of brushing grass of his shirt. 

            “Having your dog knock me on my ass – that’s one way to find a soulmate,” he teased back, before the two abruptly caught each other up in a laughing hug, talking all at once. 

            Realizing at that moment she was still protectively holding Rey wrapped in her own arms, Jessika instinctively stepped back, releasing the brunette even as she chanced looked up at her face.  And instantly regretted it, seeing the complete look of awe, delight, and bone deep envy on Rey’s face.  Of course – of _course_ Rey, who was basically the human epitome of sunshine and rainbows and happiness would watch a Meeting with nothing but happiness and longing.  For an encounter that could have been in a Hallmark made for tv movie.  And Jessika was the last person to give that to anyone.  _Shit._

            Biting her lip, Jessika shoved her hands in her pockets, keeping them where they belonged – _away_ from Rey, and cleared her throat.  “Should we, uh?” making a jerking motion with her head when Rey finally met her gaze, looking a bit dazed, Jessika raised an eyebrow when Rey just stared at her for long seconds. 

            “Uh, right,” Rey finally managed, and fell into pace when Jessika turned on heel and strode purposefully away from the happily ever after happening behind them.  Feeling a scowl trying to settle on her face, and aware of the way Rey kept stealing glances at her, probably wondering why Jessika wasn’t sighing wistfully over the magic of it all, Jessika struggled to fix her features in more pleasant lines.  Managed it for the most part.  Until Rey spoke.

            “That was pretty incredible.  Have you ever, uh, seen a Meeting before in real life?” Rey questioned, her voice hesitant, but holding a weight that settled heavily on Jessika’s shoulders.

            “I try not to,” Jessika muttered, rolling her shoulders as though she could shrug off the feel of pain, anger and grief if she only tried hard enough.  Before she risked a glance at Rey and saw the mingled confusion and something that looked like an ache carved into her features.  _Shit._

            “You don’t. . . believe in soulmates?” Rey asked, her voice and words careful.  Huffing out a sigh, Jessika slowed to a stop once more, knowing she couldn’t screw this up.  Not when she’d met the first person who she felt the _need_ to justify why the sight of soulmarks and Meetings made her stomach roll with a sweaty nausea, even if she could never give the reason why.  All she knew was she didn’t want to push Rey away with her reaction, even knowing given Rey’s response, Jessika might never have her enough to  be able to push away.

            “Listen.  I believe in love.  That it’s real and people can have it.  I just think people. . . people have a right and responsibility, to find that love for themselves.  Instead of just falling into some pre-destined idea that someone is perfect for you.  I think you have to earn that knowledge, those feelings.”

            “Earn it,” Rey replied, her voice thoughtful.  Holding her breath, Jessika bit her lip as Rey seemed to consider this.  More than one emotion flickered behind that dark gaze, and as Jessika wished she knew Rey well enough to read them all, she understood in that instant just how desperately she wanted to know her completely.  And felt the air rush out of her as Rey’s lips finally curved into a smile.

            “You are one of a kind Jessika.”  Nodding towards the building they’d paused in front of, she questioned almost hesitantly, “Would you like to come up?”

            “Yes.  Yes I would,” Jessika grinned.  And unknowingly wearing matching expressions of relief, the two moved towards the flat. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Made a trip all the way to London, rode on the tube, and day dreamed about this exact scene! Those tunnels really are quite narrow. Anywho, I hope you're enjoying this tale of slightly awkward yet endearing attraction! If you are, comments and kudos are so appreciated :)


	7. Chapter 7

Sitting on a stool at the high counter separating her kitchen from the dining room, Rey had her chin propped on her fist as she watched her soulmate dancing along to the Pandora playing from her cell phone as Jessika was cooking something she insisted would blow Rey’s mind.  Rey’s mind indeed felt blown, but it had nothing to do with the culinary experience currently being created by the cutest cook Rey had ever seen.  Instead she was simply trying to wrap her brain around everything that had happened in the last week.  How naive she’d been to think that finding her soulmate someday would be the missing puzzle piece in the life she’d always led.  Instead, meeting Jessika, and every moment after, had been akin to someone had grabbing her nearly complete puzzle, shaken it violently, and then spilling it out in an entirely new picture.  None of the pieces that made Rey who she was were different.  And yet nothing was the same.

            Rey struggled to mentally sort through the turn of events that had led to Jessika shoving a protesting Rey on the stool and insisting she was going to show the Brit what _real_ nachos tasted like.  For the last three days, Rey had been resoundingly abusing herself for failing to get Jessika’s phone number.  She’d floated home on a high unlike any she’d ever known after their day at the zoo, and the dinner that had exceeded every dream she’d ever held in her heart over a first date – regardless of the fact this hang hadn’t exactly been a date. But really – semantics.  It wasn’t until she’d snuggled into bed, cuddling her alpaca which she treasured all the more since it had been a gift from her soulmate, that she’d considered shooting Jessika a cute picture of Alfred all tucked in with his own pillow.  And abruptly realized she couldn’t.  Because, like the absolute wanker she was, she _hadn’t gotten Jessika’s phone number_.

            Groaning in abject dismay, Rey flopped an arm over her face.  Yet couldn’t hide from the fact she was an absolute _idiot._   Seriously, it’s like she was _trying_  to never see her soulmate again.  Fate had intervened on her behalf twice, and both times Rey had managed to bung it up.  Of all the scenarios she’d envisioned when considering how her happily ever after could play out, shooting herself in the foot had not been one of them.

            And so, she’d once more dragged herself to work, moping enough she should probably be  concerned about her job security.  Though this time the mope wasn’t because she’d never even had the chance to get to know her soulmate.  Instead, this new and entirely different mope was that she had gotten to know her soulmate, and she was awesome.  And she probably also thought Rey was completely indifferent to seeing her ever again.

            So Rey spent her time, torn between hoping Jessika would show up at the diner _again_ , and contemplating how hard it would be to narrow down all the companies that provided phone support, based in the greater London area.  There couldn’t be _that_ many, right?  If she systematically worked her way through calling each one, and hoped each respective companies employee protection policy didn’t exclude giving out their employee’s full name and extension when it came to a case of unrequited love, it should only take a year or ten to get through them all.  Not exactly the most inspiring plan.

            And yet.  Here she was.  With her soulmate again.  After their walk in the park, Rey had rather nervously brought Jessika up to her flat, wondering wildly if she’d left skivvies lying around or something else equally embarrassing.  Fortunately, she hadn’t lost all common sense or basic hygiene during her mourning period, so that hadn’t been the case.  And after the initial nerves of watching Jessika float around her apartment, observing it all with her sharp ebony gaze, she’d finally relaxed when Jessika had turned to her with a wide grin and stated “You have every season of Grey’s Anatomy.  Don’t tell Finn, but you are officially my new best friend.”

            Well, there had been nothing for it but to plug in Grey’s Anatomy and settle on the couch – anything that kept Jessika giving her that grin.  But after one episode had them both in tears, they’d agreed a change of pace was in order, and at Jessika’s insistence had switched over to Netflix to being Rey’s education on Firefly.  Two episodes later, Rey was cursing Fox for being short sighted idiots in canceling what was clearly a fantastic show with dimensional characters, vibrant story arcs, and excellent effects, while equally cursing Jessika for getting her hooked on a show that had been canceled after eleven episodes.  Jessika had accepted the indictment with a grin, and simply loaded the next episode.

            Eventually though, Rey’s stomach had made its presence known, it’s growling loud enough to drown out Jayne threatening to beat everyone with a chain until they understood who was in command.  She would have been embarrassed if Jessika hadn’t turned to her with an utterly serious expression, saying “Oh my gosh.  Me too.  Food.”

            At that, Rey hadn’t been sure what to do next, considering none of today had proceeded according to schedule.  Sure, the instant she’d realized who was in her lap, she’d concocted half formed plots of bringing Jessika to her apartment and inviting her to move in, simply so she’d never have to leave.  Or baring that, kidnapping.  But since she was still logical enough to know both of those didn’t have high odds of paying off long term, she hadn’t really thought past just getting Jessika here, in her space.  After that, thought had pretty much evaporated.  Smelling the light scent of Jessika’s hair.  Feeling their shoulders brush occasionally as they sat on the couch.

            “Um, we could order something in.  Maybe Chinese,” Rey offered.  Jessika scrunched up her nose. 

            “No offense, but you Brits don’t really do Chinese right.  Why don’t I cook for you instead?  Providing your fridge isn’t as empty as mine is right now.”  Popping up, Jessika bounded over to Rey’s kitchen and pulled open the refrigerator door, sticking her head in curiously.  “Hey, you have jalapenos!  I’m impressed,” came the slightly muffled exclamation even as Rey tried to wrap her brain around this. 

            “You don’t have to cook for me-” Rey began before Jessika emerged again and raised a brow in her direction. 

            “I know, I don’t _have_ to.  I want to.  I’ll dazzle you with my culinary abilities.  Hm, do you have…” Jessika trailed off as she disappeared inside the pantry.  “Aw yis,” she exclaimed, reappearing with a bag of tortilla chips in her hand, nearly running into Rey who had come in behind her.

            “At least let me help-” Rey began, before the feel of Jessika grabbing her hand cut her words off, and she let herself be tugged towards than pushed onto a stool, more than a little breathless at the feeling of being slightly manhandled.  Nodded mutely when Jessika sternly told her to sit.  Managed not to open her mouth and beg for the manhandling to continue. 

            At which point Jessika had grinned and informed Rey her British butt was about to be introduced to American style Mexican food.  Something the British isles was sorely missing.  And really, who could argue with that? Not that Rey cared about the food at this point.  All the cared was about watching Jessika happily dancing around her kitchen, and thinking how she could get used to this.  And thanking Poe for being so obsessed with queso dip that she just happened to have the chips Jessika needed for her ‘specialty’.  

            “Tada!” Jessika sang, as she placed a plate full of her famous nachos in front of Rey, grinning expectantly when Rey stared down at the mountain of chips, before looking back up at Jessika, her expression intense.  More intense than the situation called for, if the slight confusion creeping into Jessika’s eyes were any indication, but seriously, Rey couldn’t help it.  Her soulmate had just cooked for her.  This was a moment. 

            “Thank you,” she spoke, trying not to let her sincerity tip over into creepy territory.

            “You might want to try it before you thank me,” Jessika joked, before grabbing a loaded chip from the plate she’d met herself and popping it in her mouth.  “Oh man.  Perfect,” she mumbled, eyes half closed in a look of ecstasy, and simply to keep from embarrassing herself, Rey quickly took a bite of her own nachos.  Before letting out a delighted moan of her own. 

            “Oh my gosh.  These are really good,” she all but whimpered, looked at Jessika when she laughed. 

            “You sound surprised.”

            “Well, I am, but in a very complimentary kind of way.  All the nachos I’ve had were at bars and they were kind of soggy and boring.”

            Jessika shook her head.  “I’m sorry to tell you, but British people just don’t know Mexican food.  It’s unfortunate.”  That said, she plowed into her own plate, feet swinging as she perched on the stool next to Rey.

            “Then that makes me lucky you’re here,” Rey replied, refusing to look at Jessika now in case she’d just embarrassed herself after all.  But it was true, and she meant every word.  Having Jessika in her space made her _happy_.  Especially since the moment in the park when the only true question she’d had left, but hadn’t known how or when to voice, was answered.  Rey could handle knowing she wasn’t Jessika’s soulmate.  The pain of that missing link was still preferable to the pain of not seeing Jessika altogether.  But what Rey couldn’t handle was if Jessika belonged to another – had someone else’s words etched upon her skin.  Couldn’t handle spending as many endless seconds together as possible, knowing she was just bidding time until someone else spoke those words and she lost Jessika forever.  But now, from the frustrated pain she’d heard in Jessika’s voice when Rey had asked about soulmates, she understood.  Jessika was one of the few who had no words on her skin – no predestined claim to her heart.  And that meant she was free for Rey to win over.  Rey would never be her soulmate.  But she could love Jessika enough that Jessika never felt the lack.  She could earn it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firefly and nachos - two of the best things in life, in my humble opinion. <3 And these ladies deserve all the nachos in all the land!


	8. Chapter 8

It had been twenty one days.  Precisely twenty one days since she’d met her soulmate.  A brilliant twenty one days, where the two had sent countless texts, shared countless smiles, gone on numerous outings, had even more lazy stay in movie days, and basically learned everything a person could about another in individual in a three week span.  It had been wonderful.  Rey was miserable. 

            Spending her whole life waiting for her soulmate had given her plenty of happy day dreams about how wonderful it would be to be deeply in love, yet had given her zero practical knowledge on how to _be_ with someone.  Furthermore, she’d never considered she’d have to try and woo her soulmate into a relationship.  It had been a surprise to come to the realization she wanted to, would have even had her words been on Jessika’s skin.  Jessika deserved to be romanced.  Rey just had no clue how to _do_ it. 

            So instead she spent the hours away from Jessika lecturing herself for not just womaning up and making a move, while trying to give herself reaffirming pep talks that _next_ time, she would.  Next time she’d take her heart in her hands and ask Jessika out on a proper date.  Or, failing that, just grab Jessika and kiss her stupid.  Which was admittedly far too aggressive an idea, even with her non-existent experience, she knew this.  But waking up from sweaty, half remembered dreams of being tangled up with the female in ways Rey had no real life familiarity in, while restraining her from just pouncing on Jessika every time she smiled that lovely smile was melting her brain.  If this limbo Rey was in lasted much longer, she might suffer permanent damage.

            Sighing morosely, she glanced up unenthusiastically at the sudden and unexpected knock at the door.  Lip curling in annoyance, she considered ignoring it altogether.  After all, she had plans with Poe tonight but that wasn’t for hours.  And frankly, the only way she wanted to fill the foreseeable future was to lie like broccoli, and mope.  She was, after all, a champion moper, and didn’t appreciate interruptions.  Yet when the knock came again, with more cheer and insistence than the average door to door missionary mustered, she sighed again, dragged herself resentfully off the couch, and swung the door open, fully prepared to glare whosoever dared interrupt her sulking into running away.  Until she actually saw who stood on the other side.

            “Hi!” Jessika exclaimed, as she held up a fist full of dvd’s, and enticingly swung a bag bearing the Patisserie Valerie logo, wafting the unmistakable scent of chocolate.  Blinking in shock, absorbing the sight of her soulmate surprising her with movies and sugar, while looking more beautiful that Rey had ever seen her, long hair hanging in loose spirals around her shoulders, a pretty dress in a summery flower print hugging her curves, smile wide enough to light up all of London – it was all just too much.  Blinking once more, Rey opened her mouth to say something – anything.  Before she abruptly burst into tears. 

 

 

“Oh my God, are you okay?” Jessika exclaimed as Rey started sobbing hysterically between one second and the next.  Of all the reactions she’d expected, this did not make the list.  Delighted to be given a surprise day off by the boss who had actually noticed all the night shifts and overtime hours she’d been pulling, it hadn’t taken long for Jessika to come up with a plan of how to spend the unexpected free time.  Two days before, Jessika and Rey had taken a long stroll through London before Jessika had tugged a skeptical Rey into the dessert chain, insisting she’d never put anything as decadent in her mouth before.  One bite into the black forest gateau and Rey was in the throes of culinary ecstasy, something that _would_ have made Jessika feel smug if she wasn’t trying to control the traitorous blush that rose in her cheeks at the frankly indecent noises Rey was making.  Okay, so maybe her all to vivid imagination envisioned the brunette making those same sounds in a much more intimate setting – chocolate optional.  That wasn’t a crime.  It wasn’t like she _did_ anything about the all too detailed thoughts.  But it had become eminently clear to Jessika in the last three weeks she wanted to do something about them.

            Jessika didn’t have a problem admitting she wanted to date people.  She still meant that vow she’d made herself at ten, and she still wanted to find love.  How was she ever going to find it if she _didn’t_ get out there and try to find him or her?  No, the problem was with, well, people.  Living in a world where soulmarks and soulmates and Meetings abounded, going against the flow wasn’t precisely the simplest thing to do.  For starters, for the ninety five percent of the population that had words on their skin, they _knew_ instantly that Jessika wasn’t their fated match.  Now, Jessika didn’t know that was the case, but when someone wasn’t dramatically gasping the first time she asked for an apple cider at the coffee shop, or accidentally bumping into them on the tube, it was a pretty good indicator.  Not that that held Jessika back.  After all, for all she knew, and frankly hoped, the person she could come to love may have no words on their skin at all.  Leaving their heart as free as hers to choose.  So she’d taken the chance, time and again, asking people on dates.  And been accepted more than once. 

            However.  In a society where soulmates were the norm, and people in committed relationships that didn’t bear each other’s words were subtly discriminated against in everything from healthcare to the job market, dating itself was a landmine.  The school of thoughts on dating was varied, one extreme being the staunch purists who believe seeing anyone romantically who wasn’t your soulmate was no better than cheating, regardless of the fact you might not even _meet_ your soulmate until you were eighty.  Words were anything but a guarantee of a long happy life together.  On the other end, were those who didn’t feel they owed a fidelity to a person they’d never spoken to, and so dated freely, though for most of these, it was a purely recreational activity, with no end game in mind. 

            These were the people who happily accepted Jessika’s invitations for dinner, a coffee, a movie, and occasionally, eventually more.  But inevitably, Jessika had run into the dead end time and again of people she’d come to truly like, and wonder if she could love, looking her in the eyes and letting her know they were simply passing the time.  Waiting for the one.

            Anyone else at this point may have given up.  Given in to the wisest course and just read the damn letters tripping down her spine, then resigning herself to waiting.  But no one could accuse Jessika of being a quitter.  Or wise, for that matter.  And as she’d come to realize just how deep her _like_ for Rey was growing, Jessika understood this was the least wise she’d ever been.  After all, no female who lit up like a Christmas tree at seeing a Meeting would be interested in dating someone who took a “gift” of a soulmark and threw it away.  But…  Rey lit up when she was looking at Jessika too.  So just maybe.  Maybe Jessika could gather her courage.  Ask one more time. 

            Regardless, all she knew was dating or friends, she wanted to spend her time with Rey.  Had been excited to break into a Jurassic Park marathon when Rey had confessed between chocolate and cherries that she’d never seen any of them.  Watched Jessika with amusement when she swayed, hand pressed to her heart in shock, nearly toppling off her chair.  Before Jessika insisted this was a travesty that had to be rectified swiftly.  And so here she was.  And Rey was _crying_. 

            “What happened?” Jessika demanded, aghast.  Shuffling in the door, Jessika closed it behind her before dropping everything to the floor, and pulled Rey into a fierce hug.  When Rey only cried all the harder, pressing her face into the curve of Jessika’s neck, yet left her arms hanging dejectedly at her sides, Jessika felt her own heart hitch as she stroked a comforting hand over silky soft hair.

            “Come on, you got to talk to me,” Jessika spoke, desperation edging into her voice when Rey’s tears continued unabated.  “Are you hurt?”  A wet hiccup as Rey shook her head, but kept it pressed to Jessika’s skin.

            “Okay, not hurt.  That’s good.  Do you want to tell me what happened?” Jessika questioned.  Unsurprised given the wordless crying that the answer was another shake of Rey’s head, this one stronger than the first.  “I’m not sure how to help if you won’t tell me-” she began, then rubbed Rey’s back when her shuddering sobs grew harder.  “But okay.  That’s okay.”  Considering thoughtfully, Jessika glanced around the room before determining she had what she needed.  “Do you trust me?” she questioned at last, felt the way Rey’s breath hitched at the question. A pause.  Then slowly a nod.  Good, that was good.  A good first step.  Unable to hold back the urge which was so strong it was a _need¸_ Jessika pressed a soft kiss to the top of Rey’s head before gently pulling away.  “Don’t move,” she said firmly.  Before stepping back, and staring at Rey just long enough to make sure she wasn’t going to fall over, or something else equally dramatic.  When Rey just stood there, looking more despondent with each passing moment, Jessika got moving.  Grabbing one of the giant, fluffy throws off the couch, and spreading it out flat on the ground.  That done, she moved back to Rey, and gently tugged her until she stood in the middle of the blanket.  “Alright, now lay down.”

            Understandably, Rey’s expression of abject sorrow was now tinged with confusion.  Jessika could work with that.  Even so, the brunette slowly sat down on the blanket, only lying flat when Jessika gave her shoulders a gentle little push.  “Good.  Now scoot to the side.”  At this point, Rey was staring at her like she was second guessing her decision to trust Jessika.  Which was logical.  But seriously, Jessika had a game plan here.  Which entailed waiting patiently until Rey wiggled over to lie on the far border of the blanket.  And then grabbing the edges of the throw, tucking them tight against Rey’s side, she began to roll the shocked female, who let out a started yelp.  But by the time she’d worked up enough brain power to flail, and likely wonder if she was about to be carted off like a dead body in a bad mafia movie, Jessika had her rolled up snuggly like a little sushi roll.  Far too snuggly to do more than wiggle around like a baffled caterpillar.

            “What-” she demanded, breathless, but fortunately for all involved, no longer actively crying. 

            “Seriously, just let it happen,” Jessika suggested, even as she shoved her arms under the fuzzy Swiss cake roll that was Rey, and with a grunt, managed to make it to her feet.  Yelping in alarm, Rey had little time to marvel about the shorter female hauling her around, or pray she wasn’t about to be dropped on her ass, when Jessika huffed out a breath and plopped her on the couch.

            “Whew!” Jessika said.  “Okay, seriously.  Don’t move.”  Blinking, Rey wasn’t sure just where she was supposed to move to when she was wrapped up in a blanket burrito, but now that she was no longer in imminent danger of being fumbled, she had to admit, she was damn cozy.  It was nice.  Nicer still when Jessika began to layer pillows in around her, basically tucking in her into a little nest of comfort.  When Jessika disappeared around the corner for a moment, then reappeared a moment later with Alfred in hand, who she snuggled up against Rey so his soft head rested on her shoulder, Rey was struggling with tears once more.  But Jessika didn’t comment, simply giving her a sweet smile, before vanishing in the kitchen.  Where Rey could hear Jessika muttering dire imprecations at her instant water heater, wondering aloud who in the world used loose leaf tea, silly Brits.  And felt love simply overwhelm her when Jessika came back in the living room, mug in hand, a look of triumph on her face at having managed to make a cup of tea.  A few leaves floated in the dark liquid from what Rey could see when Jessika placed it on the coffee table, but she decided she could be open minded about it.  Watching her soulmate kneel before the tv, popping in the first Jurassic Park film before coming to the couch to curl up at her side, Jessika busied herself pulling the slice of cake from its box, and then forked up a bite, held it up to Rey’s lips. 

            “Chocolate makes everything better,” she asserted, watching Rey with serious eyes until Rey bit back the words tumbling behind her teeth, words of love and declarations of forever, and instead leaned in to eat the proffered bite of cake.  Serious eyes that went dark watching Rey’s lips on the fork, before she cleared her throat, and scooped up another bite, shoving it in her own mouth.

            “Better?” Jessika asked quietly a moment later.  Biting her own lip when Rey stared at her with that chocolate gaze that was currently tear free, yet held a thousand unspoken words within them.

            “Better,” Rey agreed.  Let out a sigh as Jessika tipped her head on Rey’s shoulder, pressed her own cheek to fine ebony hair.  Everything was better when Jessika was near.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sushi roll of sadness gives me joy. Thank you Pinterest for that brilliant bit of inspiration. I'd recommend it to anyone feeling down - it truly works. Fuzzy blankets, cake and good movies make everything in life better. As always, if you like what you've read comments and kudos give me a thrill.


	9. Chapter 9

“Hey dork, why didn’t you answer your phone, I’ve been texting you.”  Stepping through Rey’s front door that was unlocked, as it always was when he came over, Poe contemplated whether it was worth it to lecture Rey, _again¸_ that while they may come from small town beginnings, they lived in London now.  Not the kind of city to leave your door open to whoever fancied popping in.  Deciding to save the lecture for after eating, because he was currently more interested in shoveling food into his mouth than letting stern words fall out of it, Poe closed the door behind him then frowned, wondering why Rey wasn’t already pouncing on the bag of Indian takeout he was carrying.  Yet before he could call for her again, concern developing as he wondered if a home invasion had already taken place, and his best friend was tragically dead, he stepped into the living room.  Where he immediately saw that there was indeed another party present, and Rey was in fact dead to the world.  Though not actually dead, he was glad to note. 

            Rey lay on the couch, head resting in Jessika’s lap, snoring lightly, oblivious to the dinosaurs proceeding to gleefully eat people on the tele.  Jessika was equally down for the count, head tipped back against the couch cushions, mouth slack as the hand tangled in Rey’s hair twitched slightly.  Absorbing this unexpected but frankly adorable spectacle, he noted the stuffed animal lying on the floor.  The dirty forks and empty cake container.  These two really know how to party. 

            Setting down this container on the kitchen table, he debated whether to start in on the food without waking them, and if that would be creepy, or just smart because then hey, he wouldn’t have to share, when Rey woke with a start.  Tried to sit up.  Seemed to forget the fact she was wrapped up in a blanket tighter than a fruit roll up, a fact that had Poe both amused and undeniable curious.  Because she promptly flailed ineffectively, lost her balance, and fell over onto the floor with a thud.  Loud enough to both have Poe wincing in sympathy, and Jessika jolting awake just as dramatically as Rey, though she being unencumbered by a blanket straight jacket flew to her feet, narrowly missing kicking Rey in the head as she assumed what Poe could only describe as a ninja stance, hands up like she was about to karate chop any threat that came her way.  And that, right here, was his breaking point.

            Jessika blinked owlishly at the man who had most certainly not been present before they’d switched discs to Jurassic Park 2, but was certainly present now, laughing his butt off.  “Who the heck are you?” she demanded, mentally trying to recall herself self-defense classes.  Was tempted to start judo chopping first, wait for an actual answer to her question later, but finally her nap fuzzy brain woke up a bit more to recognize the lunatic from the diner who had quite literally shoved Rey along on their very first outing.  “Oh.  Rey’s friend.  Uh… hi,” she said, sheepishly dropping her hands to her sides.

            “Burger girl.  I’m Poe.  Nice to meet you, officially,” he grinned.  “Sorry to barge in, but I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be here.”

            “Jessika.  Although, hey, was that you that made that burger?  Amazing burger, seriously.  Thanks for that.  Um, yeah, I didn’t realize she had plans this evening.  She didn’t mention it.  Well, she didn’t really mention anything.  It was kind of a traumatic afternoon,” Jessika leaned in to confide with Poe in a whisper.

            “Hm.  That explains the blanket burrito.”

            “Exactly.  Everything is better with a blanket,” Jessika replied seriously.  Before the both heard the muffled, “ _Ow_ ” from behind them.  Muffled, because Rey was lying face down on the carpet, trapped and resigned in the sushi roll of sadness. 

            “Oh my God!” Jessika said, immediately leaping back to Rey’s side, helping her sit up, then unwrapping her like a mummy coming back from the dead.  “Are you okay?”

            “Fine, fine,” Rey muttered, more embarrassed than anything else at her amazing display of dexterity and composure today.  Seriously, she couldn’t be more of a disaster if she tried.  Keen to change the subject, she deflected quickly.  “Poe, what are you doing here?”  Before she saw the bag on the table and smacked a hand to her forehead, which she immediately regretted.  Crying jags and tumbles to the floor were not her friend.  “Oh my gosh, Indian food night, I completely spaced it, I am so sorry.”

            “Hey, no worries-” Poe quickly started.  If he was going to share food with anyone, he’d happily do it with his best friend and her soulmate.  But before he could make the offer, invite Jessika to stay, she was already scooping up her purse, smiling easily. 

            “Seriously, it’s cool.  I was going to see what Finn was up to tonight anyways.  You guys have fun.”  Pausing in front of Rey, who looked torn, clearly not wanting to break her plans with Poe yet unquestionably unhappy at the idea of watching Jessika go, Jessika reached out, laid a tentative hand on her cheek.  “And listen,” her voice softened, and Poe cleared his throat, making a show of turning away to start rusting about in the bag.  Loudly.  “If you need anything, want to talk, whatever, you just call me.  Okay?”

            Rey bit her lip.  Managed a smile.  “Okay.” 

            Smiling once more, Jessika shot a wave at Poe.  “Nice to meet you.  Y’all have a good night.”  And sailed out the door. 

            Both Rey and Poe stared after her for long moments, before Poe turned to Rey and pointed a finger at her.  “What.  In the world.  Happened today.”

            Rey sighed.  Draped the blanket over her shoulders like a cape, shuffled to the table, popping open the first container.  If she was going to get into the crazy mess that was her life on this very strange Tuesday, she needed some serious sustenance first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poe is a precious cinnamon roll, to be protected at all costs. Also, he'd a good friend.   
> All the love to any lovely reader who leaves happy comments and/or kudos :D


	10. Chapter 10

 

Sent:    5:27 PM

_“Rey.  What r you doin?”_

 

Sent:    5:32 PM

_“Reeeeeyyyy”_

 

Sent:    5:45 PM

*poop emoji*

*shrimp emoji*

*cactus emoji*

 

            Dragging her phone out of her pocket even as she whipped her apron off, tucking it in her cubby, Rey sent a wave at Poe as she headed out, her shift over, stepping out into the busy streets of London at six on a week night.  Sighing automatically at the blissful sunlight that still beat down cheerfully, she just stood on the sidewalk for a moment, smiling at the warm summer air before she finally swiped out of her lock screen on her phone.  Blinked at the series of texts Jessika had sent her earlier that evening.  Smiling morphing into a laugh by the last one.

 

Sent 6:03 PM

_“Just got off work.  Exciting.  But I’m guessing not as exciting as whatever you’ve been getting up to.”_

 

            Slinging her purse over her shoulder, Rey started towards the tube, appreciating the sense of freedom that always accompanied a finished shift at the diner.  Not that she didn’t like her job – she did.  She just liked not working even better.  When her phone chimed less than a minute later, Rey paused to read it, biting her lip to hold back the frankly ridiculous grin that was fighting to spread over her face, but completely helpless to stop the defenseless fluttering in her heart. 

 

Sent 6:04 PM

_“Hot wings.  Beer.  Sports.  Way better.  Come join me!”_

 

            Well.  With an invitation like that, who could refuse?  Not that she would, regardless of what the details were.  Mini golf, preparing taxes, watching paint dry – it hardly mattered.  Where ever Jessika was, was where Rey wanted to be.  Quickly asking for a location, Rey was pleased to discover it was only a ten minute walk away, and immediately set out, the quickness of her walk and the excitement in her blood impossible to deny.  Jessika wanted her around, and nothing could make Rey happier.

            She’d worried, after her intense, and to Jessika, likely inexplicable, reaction the other night.  Worried that despite the incredibly wonderful way Jessika had taken care of her, cared _for_ her, that once she was gone, she might reconsider their friendship.  After all, who wanted a nut case in their life who randomly lost their noggins, and refused to explain why?  So fearfully, Rey had sent her a text that next day.  Worried that everything would be different.  And waited, to see if she was right. 

            In a sense, she had been.  Things did feel different after that, though she couldn’t truly pinpoint how.  Yet it was different in the last way she expected.  Jessika had called her back a few hours later, apologizing for taking so long, but apparently she was back at work, and Rey had wondered how she’d managed to have a soulmate that worked hours even weirder than her own.  But that wasn’t important.  What was, was the cadence of Jessika’s voice.  Light and sweet as always, but there was something more – a softness and an _openness_ to it that hadn’t been there before.  And even as she marveled at it, Rey wondered if her display of vulnerability had somehow empowered Jessika to expose her own.  Either way, Jessika had made no mention of the day before except to ask with a genuine attentiveness how Rey was doing.  Great.  There could be no other answer.  Rey was incredible, having a soulmate who had accepted her at her weakest, and done nothing but built her back up.

            Eager to see her now, desperate to know if that openness would reflect on Jessika’s face, or if Rey had somehow imagined it, she stepped into the pub Jessika had named, them stumbled to a stop.  “Wow,” she breathed, unable to help herself.  And immediately understood why she’d never been to this particularly bar before. 

            Tele screens were _everywhere_.  And rather than display anything normal, like Rugby or polo, they were blaring sports that typically had the good sense not to show their faces in England.  Football - the American version, not the _real_ football - baseball, what she thought might be basketball.  And the crowd inside – just stepping into the midst of the hoard nearly took her breath away.  Rey might not have grown up in London, but she knew a Brit when she saw one.  Conversely, she could spot a foreigner with equal skill, and aside from the resigned looking bartenders serving up countless foaming beers into eager hands, she was willing to bet she was the only Brit in the entire bar.  Foreigners, or more specifically, American’s, packed the tables.  Wearing a bright assortment of shirts and jerseys that she could only assume related to some sports team or another.  Drinking out of beer cans that she recognized as US imports, and bad ones at that.  Yelling at the screens, bellowing at each other, the noise deafening, and not a single person seemed fussed that no one was actually _listening_ to each other. 

            “Sweet Mary mother of God,” Rey breathed, wondering if she could ease back out the door without being noticed.  Taxes, or maybe even a dentist office visit seemed like the better choice at the moment.  Until she spotted Jessika, wearing an enormous green and yellow shirt boldly proclaiming her affection for the Packers, whoever that was, across her back.  Jessika, who was shouting “Sack him, sack him, fuck, fuck, _fuck_!” in a blood thirsty voice Rey had definitely never heard before.  Bellowing in rage when apparently some sports fellow failed to sack, whatever that was, another sports fellow, Jessika threw her hands up in disgust, before punching the guy sitting next to her in the shoulder.  A gorgeous black man who was wearing the same resigned expression at the bartenders, while drinking from a much more respectable Fosters.  Aha, one of her country men.  Just then, he turned and caught her staring, a smile pulling over his lips before he leaned in to Jessika, speaking low in her ear.  Pausing in gesturing obscenely at the screen, which had been garnering the enthusiastic approval of the men at the next table, Jessika whipped around comically fast to stare at the door, slightly unfocused eyes landing on Rey.  And the grin that spread over the face Rey loved to distraction had her changing her mind.  Taxes were in fact not preferable.  All that mattered was being where Jessika was.

            Weaving through the throng with an ease and speed Rey envied, Jessika stood before her in an moment, beaming up at her even as she swayed ever so slightly.  “You’re here!” Jessika shouted to be heard above the din. 

            “That I am,” Rey smiled back.  “How, uh, how did you find this place?”  Rey had never heard of it, but then again, not being the sports watching, rudely shouting type, that probably wasn’t surprising. 

            “Part of the welcome to London brochure.  They set aside the American embassy, and this bar as neutral territory.  So we can congregate with our Yankee brethren and get our craziness out in peace, instead of taking to the streets in a revolution,” Jessika replied, grinning mischievously, and Rey just had to laugh at that.  “Come on!” she yelled, grabbing Rey’s hand in her own, and tugging her back to the table.  “Rey, meet Finn.  Finn, Rey!”

            Finn held his hand out to shake Rey’s, smiling easily as he said “Pleasure to meet you.  Welcome to the madness.”  Despite the dry tone of voice, he beamed down at Jessika with unmistakable affection as he said it, and she mocked scowled, threatening him with a clenched fist once more before she manhandled Rey onto a stool, announced she was going to get Rey a drink, and disappeared into the crowd before Rey could protest.

            “How do you do,” Rey replied, a bit breathless from, well, _everything_.  Looking around once more, she leaned in, her voice a bit conspiratorial though the likelihood of being overheard was practically nil.  “Uh, are we even allowed in here?  You know, not being American.”

            At that, Finn threw his head back, laughing loud enough to draw the attention of a few bleached blonde females a few tables over before they became engrossed in what Rey thought might be Nascar.  “Don’t worry, so long as you don’t criticize their teams, or make derogatory references to the US, they pretty much ignore you.”

            Rey nodded seriously.  “That’s good advice, thank you.”

            “So.”  Finn sat back, took a contemplative sip of his beer as he studied Rey with a direct stare that would have been intimidating were it not as friendly as it was focused.  “You’re the one who’s been keeping Jessika busy lately.”

            Blushing despite herself, Rey replied hesitantly, “Uh… yes?”  Suddenly wondering if she’d unintentionally offended Jessika’s friend by occupying her time.  That was the last thing she wanted.  Rey understood how important having a best friend’s approval was, whatever the nature of Rey and Jessika’s relationship.  A fact she’d realized fully when she’d managed to get out her pathetic tale of woe the other evening between bites of curry and naan to a raptly listening Poe, wrapping it up with how incredibly Jessika had handled her meltdown.  Poe had simply shaken his head before declaring, “Seriously, she’s amazing.  I’m glad of all the people in the world, she’s your soulmate.  We all need to hang out.  Stat.”  Rey had been rather relieved he hadn’t taken the opportunity to lovingly abusing her for being such a nutter, but even happier to think her best friend thought so well of her soulmate.  Not that a negative opinion would have changed how she felt about Jessika – but when it came to her two favorite people, their opinions mattered.  So now, she knew she desperately wanted to make a positive impression on Finn as well.  Not just because he mattered to Jessika, but since he mattered to Jessika, he mattered to Rey too.

            After a long moment, Finn seemed to find whatever he was looking for in her expression, and nodded, casting a glance over his shoulder before he leaned forward slightly.  “I’m glad.  She may not seem like it, and she’d never let you know, but Jessika needs more good people in her life.  I’m happy she has you now.”

            Rey found herself all at once overwhelmed at the unexpected acceptance, and desperately needing more of this slight hint at a background that she’d only guessed at thus far.  Spending time with Jessika was like reading an open book that had the first three chapters ripped out.  Jessika was so honest with everything, and yet. . . any time the topic turned to her early life, about where she’d come from, about her family, the American had skillfully deflected the questions.  Turning them back charmingly on Rey, until Rey began to seriously wonder what had made her run away from home.  To fear what the answer might be, what harm might have come to her Jessika.  And now this shadowy illusion to a history that was less than happy, it made her anxious for answers. 

            Leaning towards him as well, Rey spoke quickly.  “Finn.  Please, is there something I need to know?  I just want to help her,” she vowed when she could see him hesitating.  Brows pulling together, he considered.  Before he gave his head a little shake, looking almost regretful.

            “You’ll need to ask Jessika yourself.”

            “Ask me what?” Jessika demanded curiously as she popped up behind Rey, plopping a heavy mug of beer in front of the brunette as she took a happy gulp from her own pint.

            “Oh.  Just, uh, why exactly you’re watching all these, ah, sports,” Rey managed.  Watched a nearly amusing amount of patriotism move over Jessika’s face. 

            “Because it’s the American thing to do. Seriously.  The Packers.  They are legends that you heathens here just don’t appreciate.”

            Dark thoughts pushed aside at just how adorable Jessika was, slightly tipsy and adopting a stern lecturing expression, Rey grinned.  Before lifting the beer Jessika helpfully nudged closer to her.  Took a sip.  Before she let out a cough and said, “Oh my _God_ , what is this?” 

            “Coors Light,” Jessika replied equably, as Rey struggled not to make a face. 

            “Um.  That’s really.  Something.”

            “I believe terrible is the word you’re looking for,” Finn supplied helpfully, and Rey couldn’t hold back the laugh. 

            “Oh my God.  I’m sorry Jessika.  But how do you drink this?” 

            Rather than looking offended, Jessika simply gave Rey a pitying look.  “Like I said.  Heathens.”  Before launching into a detailed explanation of why the Packers, which apparently had something to do with cheese, were gods among men.  Sipping at the terrible beer, watching the slightly drunken animation on Jessika’s gorgeous features, Finn and her adding their own jibes, bonding over giving the shorter female a hard time over her frankly bizarre Yankee tendencies, obsessions and traditions- “I’m _telling_ you, the Rockies never lost when I watched a game without any pants on!” and Rey was incredibly happy.  Even more so when Jessika slid her own stool close enough that she could wrap an arm around Rey’s waist.  It might have been simply to help keep balance, Jessikas equilibrium growing more questionable as she finished her own beer, than muttering about uncultured English woman, proceeded to polish off Rey’s drink.  But whatever the reason, it left Rey feeling a little light headed herself.  Jessika had been tactile from the beginning.  But this unrelenting, steady contact – she only wanted to plead for more. 

            Frowning thoughtfully when Jessika paused in her explanation of how Michael Jordan was _the_ basketball legend, and how him starring in Space Jam only increased his credibility, Rey pointed at one of the numerous television screens, impressed that Jessika had apparently been watching, and keeping straight, approximately ten different games at once.  “So, that one is basketball?”

            “Very good,” Jessika praised, a pleased smile upon her lips and she turned enough so their thighs were pressing together beneath the damp table top. 

            “And basically, it’s like Quidditch?  Minus the bludgers and snitch. They’re just trying to get the ball through each other’s goal posts, really?”

            Turning back to look at Jessika when this was met with silence, Rey was a little disconcerted to see the stunned look on those pretty features.

            “Uh, Jessika?  You okay?”  Instantly concerned there was something wrong, she thought maybe it was those violently orange hot wings the American had been chowing down on for the past hour.  Unquestionably it could be the beer – really, who drank that stuff?  But before Rey could start making a checklist of symptoms for Jessika to confirm or negate, she’d huffed out a breath, rolling her eyes up to the ceiling. 

            “You see what I have to deal with here?  I mean really.  Come _on_ , how is this even fair,” Jessika muttered, before wiping a hand over her face, then meeting Rey’s concerned gaze.  “I’m fine.  I promise.” 

            “Are you sure?  I can get us a taxi-” Shifting to jump off her stool, Rey paused when the arm around her waist tightened.  Felt Jessikas other hand lift to wrap around her arm.

            “Don’t.  I just…Fuck,” Jessika muttered, and this time, it seemed to have nothing to do with some sports team doing or not doing something.  As Rey opened her mouth, Jessika huffed out a breath.  “Listen.  I know that people don’t – that _you_ probably don’t, or maybe just won’t want to with me, but, I still have to ask.  I have to know if you, that is, if we could, maybe-”

            “Jessika.  What is it?  Just spit it out,” Rey coached, concern warring with amusement as the she became uncharacteristically flustered, a market Rey generally had a corner on in their relationship.

            “I want to be more than friends,” Jessika tumbled the words out all in a rush.  Rey actually felt her heart stop.  Miss a beat.  Frantically pick up again.  Clearing her throat, she swallowed.  Realized her throat was abruptly dry, and gratefully picked up the glass of water Finn had considerately gotten her before excusing himself twenty minutes prior.  “Think you can take it from here?” he’d questioned with a wink and a nod at Jessika who had been debating passionately the merits of National Hockey League with a guy one table over.  Of course Rey could.  Or so she thought.  Until this moment when her heart was practically leaping out of her chest with hope, and her brain was obnoxiously berating her to be realistic.  Struggling between the two, Rey took a sip, before clearing her throat once more.  Somewhat better. 

            “You mean like. . . best friends?”

            At this, Jessika actually groaned, clapping her hands over her face for a moment.  Before dropping them to her lap, exposing the grin spreading across her face.  “You are so freaking adorable I can’t even handle it.  No.  Not best friends.  Like girlfriends.”  Blinking, her heart starting to shout triumphantly loud enough to drown out the cautious warnings of her brain, Rey still had the presence of mind to try and clarified further.

            “You mean, girlfriends?  Or girl space in between, _friends_.”  And that was the push that shoved Jessika over the edge.  Letting go of Rey’s waist and arm in favor of cupping her face, Jessika leaned in until their lips were a fraction away before pausing, her dark eyes suddenly clear, and searching for any sign of hesitation or refusal in Rey’s expression.  Which was the last thing Rey would show her.  Letting out a trembling breath, it was Rey who closed that final inch, pressing their lips together in a fit that was soft and warm and _perfect_. 

            Keeping it light, sweet, and undemanding, Jessika brushed her lips back and forth over the trembling curves of Rey’s mouth before pulling back. 

            Chest heaving, Rey watched Jessika with eyes that looked as hazy as Jessika’s had an hour earlier.  Mouth opening, before snapping shut again.  Jessika smiled then.  Letting her hands drop to Rey’s shoulders, giving them an encouraging squeeze.  

            “So.  Girlfriends.  No space.  Rey, would you like to date me?”

            “Yes!  Yes, yes of course.  Yes,” Rey bit out, every bit as enthusiastic and frantic as when Jessika had first asked to her to hang out, a life time ago.  Had the delight of watching the happiness spread across Jessika’s face, a glow practically beaming through her skin. 

            “I was hoping you’d say that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, at long last! Feelings on the table and a date set! About darn time, am I right?? We shall see if the happy moment lasts. If you're enjoying this fic I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!


	11. Chapter 11

So.  A first date.  Jessika could handle this.  She’d handled it before.  _Loads_ of times.  Well, not _loads_ ¸ per se.  Just a normal amount of times. The right number of times.  The number of times that gave her a firm basis on how to conduct a reasonably successful first date, without tipping over into being a serial dater with an abysmal success rate.  Not that she’d ever been long term successful before – but now that felt like a win in and of its self, because it had given her this opportunity now.  To go on _the_ first date.  The one that for more reasons than she could count felt like it mattered more than any ever had before.  And she was officially driving herself crazy.

            Giving her long curls a sharp tug, Jessika met her own gaze in the reflection of her full length mirror sternly.  “Pull it together,” she muttered, before smoothing the skirt of her dress.  Red lace, in a vintage fifties style, it had a wide neckline, tucked in at the waist before it flared out to her knees.  Paired with her favorite pearl necklace and black heels, she felt very elegant.  And hopefully attractive enough to completely erase from Rey’s memory the recollection of Jessika looking like a tsunami survivor.  Not that it seemed to matter – Rey had looked at Jessika the same way that very first day as she had every day since.  That warm, glowing look that Jessika had come to realize she’d never seen directed at anyone else.  Feeling a jolt in her stomach that was pure nerves, Jessika couldn’t deny the foolish smile that accompanied it as she grabbed her things, locked her door behind her.

            After the beer inspired confidence that had _finally_ gotten her to ask the one question she’d been confident would meet a flat out refusal, Jessika had wondered, worried, that maybe riding on the influence and happy feelings provided by more Coors Lites than she’d admit to, that perhaps she’d misread the situation.  Perhaps even pushed Rey into agreeing to a date.  Had she ever actually heard Rey say no?  To anyone?  And so, wondering, Jessika had cut herself off, and quietly started chugging water.  While keeping her arm around Rey’s waist all the while.  Worried or not, she couldn’t have cut off that connection until Rey explicitly told her to, not after she’d finally taken it, when she’d wanted it for weeks.

            When she’d finally felt the last effects of her beers wearing away completely, she’d asked an oddly quiet Rey if she could walk her home.  Watched the way Rey had blushed, nodded.  And only stressed more.  Was this a happy blush?  Or a goodness I made a mistake and now I’m afraid to be alone with you at nighttime blush?  Feeling worse by the minute, Jessika had spent the silent walk back to Rey’s apartment biting at her lip, noting that this was the first time since they’d begun hanging out that felt straight up awkward, and considered which play to make.  There was the classic, hey I was drunk and just being silly, you didn’t think I was serious did you, tactic.  Or a, wow, we can both tell this is a mistake so how about we just pretend it never happened, and never discuss it again.  She’d used that one a fair few times, with varying degrees of success.  Jolting out of her worried thoughts when she realized they were somehow already at Rey’s apartment, she shoved her hands in her pockets.  “Listen-” she began, with absolutely no idea what words were intended to follow that dazzling beginning.  And immediately discovered it didn’t matter.  Because she was instantly and effectively silenced by Rey yanking her forward and enthusiastically introducing their lips again. 

            Okay.  She could do this instead of worrying.  She could _definitely_ do this instead.  Leaning into the hold, concern melting away as she buried her fingers in softly curling hair, tilting Rey’s head just enough, nipping at the irresistible mouth, sweeping her tongue inside when Rey gasped in response.  Rey’s groan was echoed by Jessika who finally pulled back to simply breath.

            Looking drunker than Jessika had felt earlier, Rey cleared her throat.  Cleared it again.  Jessika felt a smile tugging at her lip at how clearly the brunette had been affected.  “Well.  Uh.  Sorry.  I’ve never done this before. I just, um, couldn’t seem to help myself.”  Smile turned into a grin, just this side of smug at the idea Rey couldn’t resist Jessika – a pretty delightful though.  Particularly considering how much Jessika had been struggling to rein herself in. Until her smirk slid away when the full meaning behind that sentence penetrated her very happily fogged mind. 

            “Wait.  When you say you’ve never done _this_ , you mean you’ve never…”

            At the prompt, Rey would have turned away were it not for Jessika’s hands now cupping her face.  Gentle but firm.  Keeping those brown eyes upon black. 

            “Um, kissing?  Dating?  Any of it?” Rey admitted, awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other.  Clearly feeling uncomfortable admitting it.  Which was the _last_  thing Jessika wanted her to feel.  But before Jessika could reassure her, convince Rey it didn’t matter, there was one thing Jessika needed to know first.  Something that mattered incredibly. 

            “Why me?” Jessika asked simply.  Everything inside of her falling still, waiting.  Not quite braced, but tensed all the same.  It was Rey’s eyes that grew focused, reading something in Jessika’s face.  Jessika didn’t know what, but whatever it was had a smile, gentle and sweet spreading over Rey’s features. 

            “Because you’re the only person who’s made me want to.”

            Biting her lip, biting back words she’d never once said that instantly, insanely wanted to tumble out her mouth, Jessika slowly shook her head.  “You’re pretty incredible, you know that?”  Pressing one more hard, quick kiss to that mouth she already knew she’d be awake dreaming about all night, Jessika forced herself to take a step back.  Another.  “You off work tomorrow night?”  Smiled once more at the way Rey nodded, expression slightly dazed.  “I’ll pick you up at seven.”

            So now here she was, tomorrow had arrived, and she was picking up Rey for their very first date.  Struggling not to arrive ridiculously early, she’d paced the block a few times.  Before realizing that someone could be watching her, wondering if she were casing the place.  London had neighborhood watch didn’t it?  Or at the very least, bored and nosey old people.  The last thing she needed was to get hauled in on suspicion of loitering and miss the date.  Huffing out a breath, she look at her phone.  Saw it was 6:55.  Close e-freakin-nough. 

 

 

“Oh my god.  Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” Rey chanted as she ran around her house like a lunatic.  How was it she was completely adept at getting ready every other day of her life, yet today, the _day_ , her very first date, and she was running around like a lunatic with no clue what she was doing.

            Un-phased by her frantic rushing about, Poe sat on her couch, calmly munching on a bag of sour cream and onion chips.  When she’d called him last night, excitedly relaying the amazing development in her and Jessika’s relationship, he’d been ecstatic.  So incredibly happy for his best friend, getting closer to what she’d always wanted.  And had promised he would come be with her before she headed out.  He’d fully intended to provide moral support, outfit advice, and wise yet amusing anecdotes to help prepare her for the exciting world of dating.  Yet now that he was here, he had to admit the show itself was entertaining, and well worth the price of admission.

            “Where’s my shoes?” she cried out, as she ran past him from the bedroom, to the kitchen.  For reasons completely unclear to him.  While wearing shoes.  Alright, clearly time to intervene. 

            Setting the bag of crisps aside, he brushed off his hands.  Cleared his throat. Then managed to snag Rey as she darted back the other direction.  Held her shoulders to ensure she wouldn’t just keep going.  Or perhaps fall over in overexcitement.  “Rey, take a breath.”  Nodded encouragingly as she let out a gusty breath of air.  “Excellent.  Keep doing that.  Now, first things first.  Your shoes are already on your feet.”  Wide brown eyes blinked up at him before glancing down towards the floor.  Blinked again.

            “Oh.  When did that happen?” she mused, looked back up into her best friends face when he chuckled. 

            “I know this is completely amazing, and exciting, and I’m so happy for you.  But here’s what you need to remember.  You are fantastic, and obviously Jessika understands this because she asked you out.  Not having the right outfit, or whatever else you’re panicking about right now isn’t going to change that.  So just remember what you’re doing – just spending another evening with a wonderful person who you’ve already spent a lot of evenings with, alright?  And just enjoy yourself.  Although, for the record, you’re definitely wearing the right outfit,” he added as an afterthought.  After all, he had helped with that, and she looked freaking fantastic, if he did say so himself.  Wearing a simple sundress in a pretty hot pink and navy blue pattern, navy pumps on her feet, and hair clipped back from her face, she looked perfect.  And Poe had seen the way Jessika had looked at Rey.  He knew she would find her just as breathtaking.

            Taking a slower, measured breath, she nodded.  Gave him a genuine smile.  “Thank you Poe.  I don’t know what I’d do without you, seriously.”

            “Well, that’s one thing we’ll never find out.”  They both glanced up at the sound of the knock on the door, and he could feel the fine vibration that ran through her as her eyes grew a bit wider once more.  “Go knock em dead, kiddo,” he said encouragingly, giving her a helpful shove, and stepped out of eyesight as she nearly tripped on shaky legs to the door.

            Taking a calming breath, Rey pulled it open.  Then felt her heart pause in its frantic beating when she saw Jessika standing there, looking absolutely stunning.  Smiling widely.  “Hi,” she breathed, then blushed immediately, feeling foolish already.  But Jessika’s smile only grew. 

            “Hello Rey.  You look beautiful.”

            Her soulmate just called her beautiful.  Seriously.  This was a moment.  “Thank you,” she stuttered out, before clearing her throat.  Grabbing her purse from the small entry table.  “Um, shall we?” she questioned, biting her lip when Jessika happily held out a hand, taking Rey’s in her own, and grabbed the giant picnic basket that had been at her feet.

            “Absolutely.  Ready for a date unlike any other?” Jessika questioned Rey, who at this point was just trying not to pass out from sheer excitement.  But there could be only one answer. 

            “Yes!  Yes absolutely.” 

            Minutes later, Jessika had lead her into the park, strolling at an easy pace, keeping the conversation light and easy, so by the time she’d grinningly told Rey to lose the heels, Rey’s anxiety had melted away.  And she felt nothing but relaxed as she obediently slipped off her shoes, wiggling her toes in the cool grass as she followed Jessika to a spot in the shade of a giant tree, far enough away from the path to provide a measure of privacy.  Opening the giant hamper, Jessika pulled out an equally giant blanket, and snapped it open, spreading it out on the grass with a perfectionists precision that made Rey grin.  Before Jessika turned to her, and held her hand out once more.  “My lady,” she bowed dramatically, and Rey laughed, even as she took that hand and let herself be pulled onto the blanket, took a seat on it. 

            “You’re not going to roll me up again are you?” she teased, had the delight of seeing Jessika throw her head back in helpless laughter.

            “Not on the itinerary.  Not unless you’re crying for some reason, and if you’re crying on our first date, boy am I doing something wrong,” Jessika replied, still chuckling as she kneeled down by Rey, digging into the basket again.

            “I don’t see that happening,” Rey promised solemnly. 

            “Good.  Cause it would be hard to enjoy any of this while in a blanket burrito,” Jessika said, as she poured out Rey’s favorite wine into a red solo cup, and handed it over Rey.  Who looked down at the plastic cup, then back up at Jessika.

            “You’re pretty amazing, you know that?” Rey said.  Before impulsively leaning in and pressing a kiss to lips painted crimson to match the dress.  And then sipped at her wine as Jessika actually blushed, looking slightly dazed, and Rey considered how this was already the best date of her life. 

            Digging back into the hamper, mostly in an effort to hide her flustered state, Jessika pulled out the food with a flourish.  Grinned once more when Rey blinked at the box in her hand.  “You brought pizza.  On a picnic.”

            “Hey I promised you a date like no other,” Jessika laughed as she set the box down and pulled out plates and napkins.  Then proudly lifted the lid, showing off the goods.  “You said you liked Hawaiian, so I got half that, and the other half bacon and mushroom.  Because it’s awesome, and seriously you have to at least try a bite.” 

            And as they ate messy, cheesy slices of pizza, Jessika beaming adorably as she leaned forward to feed Rey a bite of her flavor, which admittedly was pretty damn good, but refused point blank to share the Hawaiian because “Fruit belongs in a salad, not on a damn pie”, Rey felt everything she’d ever needed was right here, in this moment.  Not the wine, or the food, or the beautiful day of sunshine with the scent of summer flowers a heady perfume in the air.  But the person who completed her soul, smiling at her.

            Flopping back onto the blanket with a dramatic groan, Rey stared up at the leaves far overhead, stirring in the slight breeze, and announced.  “I seriously can’t eat any more.  I’ll _die_.”  Wiping off her fingers on a napkin, Jessika arched an eyebrow as she reached into the hamper once more. 

            “That’s a shame.  Because it just so happens I have this chocolate cake here, with your name on it.”  Accommodatingly holding it over Rey’s face so she could see it from her prone position, Rey saw that her name was indeed upon the cake, with little smiley faces and suns drawn on it in frosting.  It was the cutest thing she’d ever seen in her life. 

            “You’re trying to kill me.  Seriously.”  Rey groaned, tossing her arm over her eyes to try and hide from the temptation that she was pretty certain would actually end her life. 

            Jessika snorted.  “Well, I didn’t _really_ want to shell out for a second date, so yeah, that was my plan.”

            Flopping her arm back down to her side so she could shoot the her a glare, Jessika maintained her innocent expression until Rey grabbed her hand and yanked, chuckling as she let herself be tugged until they lay on the blanket side by side.  Tanging their fingers together, Jessika’s contented sigh matched the feeling inside her heart, and Rey beamed quietly.  Poe had been right.  This was nothing to panic over.  Just another evening with the person she loved.  And it was officially the best evening ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hurray for a good first date! Pizza in the park, what more could a girl ask for?


	12. Chapter 12

Running was awful.  Running in summer in the evening because she’d had a shift start too early to have a jog beforehand and beat the heat was absolutely miserable.  Seriously.  Five days a week, Jessika convinced herself it wasn’t so bad.  And five days a week, she rediscovered thirty seconds into her run, that it really freaking was.  Nothing in her life had ever inspired such a hateful relationship that she refused to give up, as running.

            She knew what the “experts” said.  That horrible breed of creatures who actually enjoyed physical activity.  They encouraged people to find out what they liked, and do that.  So it would seem like fun instead of work. Well.  After a series of disastrous attempts at various physical activities from Zumba to tai-bo, and the hula hoop dancing incident of two thousand nine, the only thing Jessika had learned was that what she liked was sitting on the couch.  However, being the reasonably logical type, she knew if she wanted to live a long, reasonably healthy life and not keel over at fifty from too many nachos and days spent on her butt, she had to do something.  So she’d settled on running.  It sucked, but there were pros.  Like she didn’t have to labor through some crazy routine lead by an instructor who made it look easy (it never was) and fun (it definitely never was).  No one tried to talk to her, like so many crazy people did at the gym she’d frequented for one terrible week.  Seriously, who thought that was the time to strike up a conversation – when covered in sweat, gasping away on some evil machine designed by a sadist who didn’t even need to use it anyway?  And she could do it anywhere, anytime, without having to pay a membership fee to torture herself.  So.  She ran.

            And when she made it halting back to her apartment, where she stumbled to a stop, hands braced on her knees as she panted oh so attractively, she thanked the God above that that was over for another day.

            “Should I call a medic?”  Nearly falling over sideways, Jessika managed to right herself and blink up at unexpected vision that was Rey standing before her, a smile upon that beautiful face.

            “It’s too late for that,” Jessika wheezed out, lifting an arm to swipe it across her brow.  “Tell my stuffed animals I loved them.” 

            Hearing that gorgeous laugh spill out, Jessika managed a smile as she grunted, straightened to a reasonably upright stance, and got a good look at her girlfriend.  Beautiful as always, Rey looked cool and distinctly non-sweaty as she stood in jeans, a pretty lacy top, and sparkly sandals.  If Jessika didn’t like her so much, it would be fairly annoying, considering her own hot mess status. 

            “I didn’t know you ran.  That’s great.  It makes you all… glowy,” Rey observed, watched the pained expression cross Jessika’s face.

            “The expression you’re looking for is sweating like a pig, but sure, yeah, let’s go with glowing.  And I wouldn’t call it great, but it gets the job done.  Why, what do you do? Yogalaties or something?” Jessika asked as she struggled to slow her breathing, calm her heart rate which had yet to get the message she was not longer trying to outrun a hoard of zombies – the mental scenario she used to encourage herself along. 

            “Um, I really don’t do anything,” Rey admitted, catching the flat stare her soulmate gave her at that, and quickly added, “I know, I know, it’s terrible.  I really ought to start something.  Maybe I could run with you sometime!”

            The flat stare turned into a glare as Jessika looked her girlfriend up and down, noting the long, lean build that she could never achieve short of starvation.  Not that she wanted it, she had made peace with, and come to love, her curves.  But still, while coming down from the sweaty misery that was her workout regiment, she wasn’t particularly in the mood to be forgiving for Rey’s mortal sin of being naturally perfect.

            “Seriously?  You just, look like that?” Jessika exclaimed, waving a hand wildly at Rey to encompass exactly what ‘that’ meant.  “I feel contempt for you and everything you stand for.”

            Rey couldn’t hold back the laugh, finding the scowl on her girls face, paired with her heated indignation, frankly adorable.  Tried to tactfully smother it into a cough when the furrow in those frowny brows only grew deeper.  “I’m sorry to hear that.  But  maybe I can change your mind… will this help?” she grinned her most winning smile, and held out the bag of Nando’s takeout she’d grabbed on her way over to surprise Jessika. 

            Watching those dark eyes grow wide and greedy, she tasted sweet success when Jessika placed both hands on her shoulders, met her gaze squarely as she stated solemnly.  “I take it back.  You are the best person I’ve ever met.  A queen among peasants.  And angel among men.  My personal goddess.”

            Chuckling, Rey caught Jessika’s hand, gave it a playful swing as they headed back to Jessika’s flat.  Once inside, Jessika called out that she just needed ten minutes as she limped towards the shower, so Rey got busy putting Star Wars episode six on the television, since they were on a mission to make it through all the films.  Went to the kitchen to snag some silverware, napkins, something to drink.  She knew Jessika uniformly drank water, unless demolishing a burger, and so went to grab them both glasses, before she caught sight of the brand new kettle sitting on the stovetop, tag still attached.  A tin of Rey’s favorite tea next to it on the counter.  Reaching out, she picked it up, staring at the metal box as her heart clenched painfully.

            Dating Jessika had been the best time of her life.  In the month since they’d had their first date, things had only gotten better, no matter what they were doing or where they did it.  Spending the time with Jessika had made it all fantastic, while discovering how the adventures of dating was everything she never could have imagined.  They went on a cheesy touristy London sightseeing day, eating greasy fish and chips, riding the Eye, exclaiming loudly over how Ben was in fact very big.  They’d visited a sketchy biker bar, and charmed all the bearded men with Jessika’s frankly amazing pool playing skills.  They’d caught a movie and drinks with Poe, who had argued passionately with Jessika over what line in Deadpool was both the funniest and filthiest.  Joined Finn and his mates at a rugby game, where Jessika, who maintained staunchly it couldn’t compete with a Packers game, still screamed with the best of them.  Grabbed Rey and yanked her in a crazed, heated kiss to celebrate each goal.  It was the best rugby match Rey had ever experienced.

            All those memories were incredible, that she would never forget.  But what she loved even more were quiet moments they shared, snuggled up on one of their couches, just _being_ _._  The two of them, veggie out on movies, snacking away on munchies, feet tangling together, they were the memories she loved most of all.  Talking about everything and nothing important, like when they’d been listing their favorite things about London, and discovered Nando’s topped both of their lists.  When Jessika had asked what Rey’s favorite tea was, and Rey had gone into a lengthy dissertation on different tea brands that could rival Jessika’s zoo lectures.  And Jessika had remembered, buying the type Rey loved most of all.  It kept stealing Rey’s breath, the small ways Jessika showed her she cared – she was important. 

            And with each passing day, her pain over not being Jessika’s soulmate faded further away.  She couldn’t imagine feeling more cherished than she already did.  The way Jessika would cup her face, kiss her so sweetly.  Always let her have the first bite of dessert. Text her adorable emoji’s each night before going to sleep.  Rey knew nothing could make this better than it already was.  Yet, her own soulmark seemed to burn deeper into her skin, as her unease about how, and when to tell Jessika about it grew.  She knew her first choice, in keeping from blurting it the instant the knowledge had burst upon her in a lightning bolt of awareness, had been the right one.  Afforded her the opportunity to truly get to her soulmate without Jessika feeling any pressure, either for her status, or lack of her own mark.  And yet. . .there was no way Rey could keep this from her forever.  Didn’t _want_ to keep it from her forever.  Not when it might assure Jessika more than any promises ever could that she was the one for Rey, infinitely.

            But how to tell her, to break the news gently in a way that only made Jessika feel happy – Rey was unsure how to do it.  But knew she had to, and soon.  Because the further in she fell, the more she wanted to expose every part of herself to Jessika.  Body and soul.  She belonged to Jessika.  There was no going back.  Not when Jessika kept doing things for her that made her fall harder every day.    

            “Well, I feel human again.  Ready for some peri peri, cause this girl is hungry hungry!” Jessika said happily as she walked into the kitchen, dragging fingers through her damp hair, relaxed and ridiculously sexy in an oversized grey v-neck, and cute boxer shorts with a pretty ribbon drawstring tied in a bow.  Pressing a quick kiss to Rey’s shoulder as she moved past her to grab a glass from the cupboard, she was about to grab the pitcher of water when something in Rey’s voice made her fall still.

            “You bought tea.”  Turning, Jessika lifted a brow curiously at the strangled tone of Rey’s voice. 

            “Yes…” she replied.

            “You don’t drink tea.”  The other brow lifted.  She’d thought they’d covered this subject pretty well at their first meeting, but perhaps not.

            “I sure don’t.”

            “You bought _me_ tea,” Rey continued, biting her lip, feeling emotion surge through her as she looked up, met Jessika’s questioning gaze.

            “I bought you tea,” Jessika agreed with a smirk.  “Only the best for my girl.”

            “I love you,” Rey blurted out.  Watched the grin freeze, fade away, shock taking its place.  Realizing her own hands were shaking, she set the tin aside with a clatter, wrapped her arms nervously around her waist. “Uh, I mean, I can’t believe I said that.  Out loud. But I do.  I love you Jessika-” 

            The nervous stream of words trailing off as she saw the way Jessika had paled alarmingly, and cursed herself.  Here she’d _just_ been thinking she didn’t want to push, didn’t want to demand, and moments later she was spilling her heart out at Jessika’s feet.  And clearly it was sending Jessika into some sort of shock.  That was not good.

            “Listen, I shouldn’t have said that now.  I’m sorry, I didn’t – why don’t we just-” turning away, blindly reaching for the pile of silverware she’d abandoned in her preoccupation with the tea, she stilled again when soft hands landed on her waist, tugged insistently until she faced Jessika once more. 

            “Say it again,” she breathed, voice unsteady.  Searching those deep black eyes, the panicked thrum of Rey’s heart paused.  Seemed to consider.  Slowed.

            “I love you,” she repeated.  Watched a tremulous smile break over that face like sunshine.

            “I love you too,” Jessika whispered, her voice breaking.  Then let out a gasp when Rey caught her up, jerked her forward until they were pressed together.  Lips meeting desperately, hungrily.  Hands flexing on Rey’s hips, she arched forward, the sound of her heart singing inside her chest making her deaf to anything else.  The happiness one so exquisite it hurt, tears gliding soundlessly from closed eyes, drinking in the feel of Rey’s lips on her own.

            Lips gliding together perfectly, tongue stroking along Jessika’s, Rey thought she could do this forever, as that gorgeous body trembled against her own.  She had never kissed before Jessika, never understood the intimacy, and the soul deep want created by two mouths meeting.  Now, she could never get enough, and only grew more greedy with each day that passed for the contact with Jessika. 

            She’d worried at first she was rubbish at it, having no experience to go on.  But when she’d voiced the fear, Jessika had voiced breathlessly that she had _nothing_ to worry about.  And given the way Jessika had proceeded to press her against the wall and melt all thought away with teeth nibbling at Rey’s bottom lip, well, she hadn’t had any brain power left to worry about it.  Feeling Jessika move closer still, she could happily do this the rest of her life.  When Jessika tasted so sweet in her mouth, her exquisite curves so soft beneath her hands.  Rey would have kept kissing her soulmate forever, the woman who _loved_ her, with no regard for their food growing cold or the sound of intergalactic warfare in the background, were it not for the taste of salt.  Pulling back, her breathing unsteady, Rey smiled softly as she saw the tracks of moisture trailing over perfect skin.  

            “Hey,” she said quietly, lifting her hands to cup Jessika’s face, thumbs gently tracing away the dampness.  “You okay?”

            Jessika blew out a shaky breath.  Nodded.  “Yeah, I just… hearing you say that,” she trailed off.  Blinked back another surge of tears that threatened to overtake her when Rey’s expression grew warm, understanding. 

            “Yeah.  Me too.”  Hugging Jessika tightly, the two of them swaying slightly as they clung to one another with equal desperation and need, she finally pulled back.  Pressed one last kiss to those irresistible lips.  “What do you say we go throw down on some Nando’s?”  Had the delight of seeing a true smile curve that mouth once more. 

            “Sounds great.”  And it really was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I relate to these characters on so many counts. Running does suck, and tea is gross. But anything in the name of staying healthy, and love! If you are loving (or at the very least still reading and somewhat enjoying) this tale of dorky romance, comments and kudos are the perfect way to let me know! :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the interest of full disclose, this is the chapter that gave this fic an M rating, for getting physical.

Staring into Rey’s eyes, Jessika laid on her side, head pillowed on her arm.  The perfect vantage point to meet that gorgeous, serious gaze, the two of them on Jessika’s bed, Rey facing Jessika. 

            “I’m a little nervous,” she admitted quietly.  Of all the intimacies she’d shared before, with the people who she’d liked but never gotten the chance to love, this was one she’d never experienced.  Never wanted with anyone else.  But despite her edgy tension now, she wanted this, with Rey.  She watched the flicker of relief in Rey’s eyes even as she let out a little self-deprecating laugh.

            “Me too,” she admitted, once more displaying her generosity in revealing her own vulnerability.  Feeling the organ inside her chest throb painfully, Jessika thought vaguely that if it made it thought the day it would be a miracle.  Who knew wonderful hurt?  Yet with each ache, she only felt happier.

            After Rey’s declaration that still left her reeling hours later, they’d finally made it to the couch, tangled up so close it was difficult to maneuver silverware, but neither wanted any sort of distance.  Not when they were still trying to grasp this miracle of being in love, and knowing the other person felt the same.  So quietly they sat, Jessika’s arm around Rey, Rey’s head tipped on her shoulder.  Finally though, the hour had grown late, and Jessika had felt Rey begin to stir, sighing softly as she glanced up at the clock on the wall.  Jessika had known she was going to leave soon, and discovered her heart, this bruised and overwhelmed thing, couldn’t handle the thought of it. 

            So she’d cupped Rey’s cheek, tilted that face up enough to brush their lips together, then gathered her courage.  “You don’t have a shift tomorrow morning, do you?” she questioned.  Watched Rey shake her head, expression a bit dazed.  “Then, maybe, would you like to stay the night?”

            Those beautiful lashes fell, lifted again as Rey watched Jessika bite her lip, waiting apprehensively for an answer.  “Yes.  I really would.  But I, uh, I don’t have any stuff.  I didn’t plan-”  Smile breaking out, Jessika pressed a harder kiss to those tempting lips.

            “Don’t worry, you can borrow mine.”  And so, the two had ended up side by side, giggling foolishly as they knocked elbows, brushing their teeth, Rey wearing a borrowed tee and sleep shorts.  The nervous tension had been undeniable though when they’d walked into Jessika’s room, stared at the bed before looking at each other. 

            “Right side?” Jessika began.  Saw Rey’s little smile.

            “Left side,” she confirmed.  And so they’d tugged down the sheets, climbed in, and now lay close enough to touch. 

            Nibbling at her bottom lip, considering the situation, Jessika took a deep, steadying breath.  “I love you,” she said, watched those eyes the shade of dark chocolate grow warmer. 

            “I love you too.  And I’d like to say it a lot.  Like, all the time.  I hope you don’t mind,” Rey confessed.  Felt her happiness expand against her rib cages until she thought her body couldn’t possibly contain it all at the look of joy on Jessika. 

            “Say it as often as you like,” she invited.  Then considered their position.  “Mkay, roll over.”

            “Uh oh, am I becoming a sushi roll again?” Rey joked, even as she obediently turned to her other side.  Felt her breath rush out when Jessika’s arm came around her, tugging her back until Jessika could curve to fit along the lines of her body, their legs tangling together.  Blinked back her own happy tears as her whole being seemed to sigh, all tension melting away at the contact.  Breathed it the scent of Jessika surrounding her, and bit back a sniffle when she felt the kiss pressed to her shoulder. 

            “Night Rey.”

            “Good night.”

 

 

When she’d drifted off, body curving protectively around Rey, Jessika had sleepily anticipated some disorientation the next morning.  Thought waking up next to another would give her at the very least a moments confusion.  Yet when the light pouring through her blinds, spilling across the bed, tugged her from sleep, perplexed was the last thing she felt.

            Sometime in the night they’d shifted, until Jessika lay on her back, Rey half draped over her, head pillowed on Jessika’s shoulder.  Jessika’s hand rested on her back, shoved beneath the soft shirt, palms soaking in the far softer, smooth feel of her skin.  Blinking slowly, Jessika stretched leisurely, had the delight of feeling Rey snuggle even closer in sleep.  Content in a bone deep way she’d rarely experienced before, she idly began to trace designs on Rey’s skin, mind drifting peacefully, nothing important intruding upon her thoughts.  Simply enjoying.

            Even the simmer of heat she’d woken to, sparking everywhere Rey pressed against her was pleasurable and undemanding.  As much as she wanted every part of Rey, she’d been glad to take their time in the physical aspect of their relationship.  Not wanting Rey to ever have any cause to regret anything they did.  And also, sensing how important this could become early on, she hadn’t wanted to rush.  So she’d invited Rey to stay the night with no ulterior motives, and despite the languid heating of the blood in her veins, she was content to simply lie here.  Drink in the bliss of waking up just like this.  Replaying the moment the day before when Rey had confessed her feelings. 

            It had been rushed and messy and obviously unplanned.  None of the things Jessika had ever pictured when she had envisioned romantic declarations.  Which is what told her it was _real_.  Rey hadn’t meant to say it – she’d just had to in the moment.  Nothing could have been better.  With every day that passed, Jessika had felt herself falling deeper for the brunette, and as happy as she was, she’d been plagued equally by apprehension.  Worrying that in this relationship that had mattered more than any other had, that she might be losing her heart to someone who found her to be a past time.  Not that Jessika thought Rey would ever be callous, or casual with her feelings.  But she’d quietly feared that Rey couldn’t settle for less than a soulmate, one of those magical meetings she watched with such joy and longing.  That words scrawled across skin would matter more than two hearts learning each other’s strengths and flaws, and loving anyways. 

            And so to have Rey blurt out her feelings, to know that she was loved – nothing she’d ever hoped for could compare.  Tilting her chin down, Jessika stared down at the beautiful sight that was her girlfriend.  Watched, captivated as those long lashes slowly lifted.  As those eyes, hazed with sleep slowly focused on hers.  Felt her heart lose the fight completely when a soft smile tugged at those lips.  “Morning,” Rey said, her voice husky.  In that second, she knew she never wanted to wake up alone again.  Not when this perfect moment in time could be hers every day, forever. 

            Throat clenching, Jessika gave in, and met that mouth with her own.  Felt the hand that had been resting on her hip flex in surprise.  Tasted the gasp Rey let out.  Before she moaned, shifting to tangle her fingers in Jessika’s tangled curls, stroking her tongue against Jessika’s in unmistakable welcome.  And just like that, the undemanding heat simmering beneath her skin flared, consuming every other thought in a rage of need.

            They’d kissed a hundred times before.  Softly, sweetly, hungrily, intensely.  Yet nothing had ever matched this new intimacy of lying together, limbs tangled where there was no fight against gravity, as they sank into each other.  Feeling her own hand on Rey’s back pressing hard, digging bruises into soft skin in an effort to pull her only closer, Jessika tried to soften her touch.  Then lost all control when Rey pulled back just enough to bite at her lower lip, body shifting restlessly against Jessika’s.  In a swift move, Jessika rolled them, taking advantage of Rey throwing her head back in surprised delight, and laid her mouth on that gorgeous curve of her neck.  Licking along the skin, biting teasingly at warm skin, she gloried at the way Rey arched into the caress, breathing growing short at the sensual torment.  Loved the way Rey tugged at her hair, but only to pull her closer, wordlessly begging for more.  Humming in contentment, Jessika licked along delicate collarbones, before fastening her mouth against flesh and sucked hard.  Felt Rey shudder beneath her, the lean length of her body blanketed by Jessika’s curves, and finally pulled back, admiring her work as she saw the mark blooming stunningly against exquisitely pale skin.  Licked over it possessively, whispering “Mine,” as she skimmed her teeth along the sensitive spot.  Heard the breath sob out of Rey’s lungs.

            “Jessika,” Rey whimpered, tugging fretfully at long ebony curls once more.  Pressing soft kissed back up the lovely length of that neck, feathering them along a sharp cheekbone, licking straight into that mouth that was panting.  Before edging away enough to stare into dark eyes that were staring almost blindly, until they focused on hers, holding onto her gaze with a force so physical she could almost feel it.

            “What is it?” she asked softly, as she held one hand against the fine shape of Rey’s waist.  Felt Rey’s abdomen contract as she arched again, helplessly pressing against the leg situated between her own. 

            “I need. . . I want-” Rey gasped out, unable to express herself, brows pulling together as she groaned when Jessika smiled regardless, understanding on her face when she pushed closer yet, feeling the heat of Rey’s need moving against her.  “Fuck,” Rey breathed out when Jessika grasped the smooth length of one of her thighs, bent it until it bracketed Jessika’s hip, and began to rub against her.

            “I know,” Jessika soothed, dipping her head once more to kiss the slight curve of Rey’s shoulder that she found so irresistible, one hand tracing higher up that narrow rib cage, delicate finger tips tracing the line of them.  Marveling how finely the brunette was built, everything about her soft, slight, yet with unexpected strength running beneath velvety soft skin.  Brushing her thumb against the bottom curve of Rey’s breast, she felt her own breath punch out of her lungs at the throaty moan that stained the air, Rey frantically now arching against her thigh, relentlessly seeking release.  Pressing her forehead to Rey’s shoulder, Jessika’s breathing was ragged as she was swamped by the pleasure racing through her own veins at having Rey so sweetly, so desperately moving beneath her.  Gliding her other hand along the leg pressed to her hip, she claimed each perfect inch of skin as her palm moved higher, thinking of nothing but shoving Rey closer to her climax, needing to feel it, needing to provide it with an impulse so deep it was instinct.  Until her fingers slid beneath the hem of Rey’s borrowed shorts, and felt a change in that soft skin.

            Jessika froze.  Felt everything within her fall sickeningly still as she carefully, hesitantly traced the raised line high upon Rey’s thigh.  Swallowed the metallic taste of nausea and panic that rose in her throat.  She knew what she was feeling, yet every part of her rejected it, refused to believe it.  Lifting her head, pressing her free hand to the mattress until she lever up, away, Jessika couldn’t know, couldn’t consider what her own face looked like.  Yet whatever was painted upon her features finally cut through the frantic need Rey was drowning in.  Her brown eyes growing confused when she took in the way Jessika was suddenly frighteningly still, then grew wide when they both looked down, saw the hand pressed to muscle hidden beneath the fabric of her shorts.

            Rey’s eyes jolted back to Jessika’s once more, wide and nearly fearful now, the pulse in her throat leaping once more, with nothing to do with pleasure this time.  Seeing it, Jessika’s stomach lurched, knowing that look was all the confirmation she needed.  Yet it still wasn’t enough. 

            “Jessika, wait-” Rey began, her voice thick, trembling.  But Jessika could hardly hear it over the sickening throb of her own deafening heartbeat, each pulse painful, the drag through her veins excruciating.

            Slowly, she shoved up the hem of the shorts.  Saw her own writing traced incriminatingly, indelibly upon that skin.  But forced herself to read it regardless, to hammer in the final nail in the coffin.  Felt the jagged cracks spreading in her heart as is broke painfully inside of her.  _Who do I have to screw to get a burger in this place?_  

            Stomach heaving, Jessika ripped her hand away, jerked back until she was stumbling to her feet, backing away from the bed as though her death had been spelled out in those letter burned deep into skin.  As her heart fractured violently inside of her, that’s what it felt like, and she tried to breathe through the panic, the vicious pain.  _No, no no no,_ she thought, eyes blind as Rey cautiously sat up.

            “Jessika, please,” and there were tears in that voice she loved.  The sound of it heartbreaking.  But Jessika’s heart was already broken, couldn’t register any more.  Couldn’t acknowledge the hurt in that trembling voice.  “I can explain.  I, we, you-“ Rey stuttered out, then jerked as though slapped when Jessika threw up a shaking hand.  Fell silent at the rejection in that gesture. 

            “I can’t do this,” Jessika said, burying her hands in her hair, tugging sharply, trying to center herself in the physical pain to forget the emotional anguish inside of her.  “I’m sorry I can’t- I have to – I have to go.  I have to go,” she stammered incoherently.  Before turning and walking out the door, agony radiating with each step.  Door closing unexpectedly quietly behind her.  Unaware of how Rey stared after her, grief carved into her expression.  Unaware of how Rey fell into sobs the second she was completely, utterly alone.  Unaware of anything but the never ending pain in her shattered chest. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So horrible, I know. I'm sorry! Please keep reading though, to see what happens next.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the tags, this chapter references past physical abuse. Please be aware if that is a trigger for you.

Jessika had no idea how long she’d walked aimlessly, her mind in a vicious loop too chaotic to hold on to any one thought for longer than a fleeting moment, except for one.  She was Rey’s soulmate.  Her soulmate.  And her heart was broken. 

            Shuddering in a breath, she wrapped her arms protectively around herself, as though she could hold the gaping wreck that was her chest if she only squeezed it tight enough.  Finally, a new pain intruded and she realized she was holding her house key in her hand, the metal biting brutally into her side.  Blinking, the physical pain pulling her out of the tortured place that was her mind, enough to stop and look around, frowning as she tried to sort through where she was.  Glancing down at her feet, she saw she’d somehow had the presence of mind to shove her feet into sandals before fleeing, so that was something.  But she was still in no way presentable to the public, evident by the judgmental and surprised stares she realized she was garnering from the people moving through the neighborhood she now recognized was about a mile from her own.  Yet clearly the anguish inside her had been evident enough on her face, that no one had dared saying anything.  Or perhaps she’d just been too far gone to hear it.

            Spying a bench, Jessika shuffled her limbs towards it, collapsed onto it, then buried her face in her hands.  Everything felt heavy, as though her agony had a physical weight to it.  Sitting on her chest until simply drawing in breath was a labored effort.  She was Rey’s soulmate. 

            A tremble ran down her spine as she let herself think those words once more.  Felt the jagged shards of her heart slice the cage of her ribs a bit deeper.  She should be happy.  She should be thrilled.  But instead, she was in agony.  Because she’d been so _wrong_.  She’d thought, she’d been foolish enough to truly believe that she and Rey had fallen in love.  That they’d grown those feelings together.  Yet instead, she’d been Rey’s soulmate all along.  There’s no way the brunette hadn’t known.  The truth had been written all over her features the moment she understood just what Jessika had discovered.  And that meant every encounter, every _second_ , Rey had been viewing her through this lens of who fate said Jessika was supposed to be.  Not just seeing Jessika for who she was.  It changed everything.

            No one had ever loved her before.  Not in the soul deep way Jessika had needed so desperately her whole life.  And to discover the one person who she’d thought had felt that way, the one person who’d said those beautiful, incredible words to her – she’d known Jessika was her soulmate all along… It was a cruelty so fine that Jessika realized there must be fate after all, because how else could such a punishment exist without it?  Rey, and oh just thinking her name made those jagged shards dig deeper, Rey loved the idea of soulmates, soulmarks, and meant to be.  Jessika could have been _anyone_.  Rey, being exactly who she was, would have felt the same, her heart led by the words on her skin.  And that meant Jessika being who she was, was irrelevant.  She as an individual didn’t matter. 

            Hunching harder into herself, Jessika finally realized the cold she felt wasn’t simply a result of her ravaged soul.  The air unseasonably icy, she rubbed trembling fingers over her arms, felt the chill of her skin, the day indifferent to her pain.  Forcing herself to stand, she began to shuffle towards her home.  Refusing to let herself consider what she’d find when she got there.  Part of her wanting to collapse into Rey’s arms, let herself cry.  Let herself be comforted.  But how could she, knowing that she was interchangeable?  She didn’t matter.  Nothing in her could fathom that Rey had grown to love her for who she was.

            So when she finally shoved her key into her lock, vaguely impressed in a distance sort of way she’d even thought enough to bring it, she stepped silently inside.  Eyes slowly taking in the empty living room.  Feet carrying her unwillingly to the doorway of her room.  Took in the empty bed.  The neatly folded pajamas lying at the foot of it.  Legs abruptly giving out beneath her, Jessika slid to the floor.  She was alone.

            And alone, she buried her face in her arms, and cried.

 

 

“Jessika?  Hey, I thought we were meeting outside.  Are you still not ready?”  Closing the front door behind him, Finn frowned when he didn’t see Jessika anywhere.  They’d had plans to meet up for lunch, yet he’d stood outside her apartment for five minutes before coming up.  Five minutes more than enough time to tip him off something was wrong, considering punctuality was her religion.  The last time she’d been late… it had not been a normal day. 

            “Jessika?” he called out again, peeking in her bedroom, almost moving on towards the bathroom before he registered her slumped on the floor, arms protectively wrapped over  her head.  “Jesus, Jessika!” he cried, falling to his knees beside her as he hauled her up into his arms, watched as her ravaged face tipped back.  The look of devastation upon her features all consuming.

            “Finn,” she croaked out, her voice rough, as though she’d been crying for hours.  Looking at her now, he thought perhaps she had been.

            “Oh, honey, come here,” he said, cradling her against his chest, pushing back up to his feet once more so he could carry her over to the couch.  Sitting down with her in his lap, he grabbed the throw blanket draped over the end of it, and began to tuck it around her, acutely aware of how cold she felt in his arms.  For some reason, she looked at the blanket, then began to cry once more, but these tears were quiet.  Utterly defeated.  Finn felt his heart jolt at this, remembering the one and only time he’d seen her looking this way before.

            Back when he’d been on exchange in high school, Finn had had plans to meet up with Jessika.  She’d always insisted to meet him either at his exchange families home, or wherever were going, but this single time, had agreed to let Finn pick her up.  When he’d arrived, no one had answered the door.  Nor had Jessika answered any of his increasingly concerned calls.  Finally, he’d walked around back, let himself in through the unlocked kitchen door.  Calling out for his friend, real worry surging in his veins, he finally found her, curled up impossibly small in her room.  When he’d quickly pulled her into his arms, he’d tilted her face towards him, seen the bruise blooming spectacularly around one eye, across her jaw, lip bleeding sluggishly.  He’d immediately jerked his phone back out, ready to call the cops, report an attack.  When she’d stopped him.  With halting sentences, wincing as the words stumbling out of her mouth only aggravated the pain, Jessika had told him how her dad had been in a rage.  One of a thousand.  The anger focused on her mother, who he’d thrown against a wall hard enough to snap her arm.  When Jessika had defended her, her dad had smacked her aside just as carelessly, the glancing blow sending her reeling. 

            Standing over the wreck of his family he’d made, the anger had slowly drained from her father, to be replaced by panicked concern.  He’d called the cops himself.  The paramedics had arrived.  Yet the entire time she’d been treated, her mother had been crying, asking for her husband.  The cops hadn’t wanted to let him go along with her mother to the hospital.  Had wanted to haul him in immediately.  Yet her mother didn’t press charges.  And Jessika, she’d refused to say a thing.  Watched the people who had brought her into the world go, her mother clinging with the hand of her unbroken arm to her father’s hand, his knuckles split and bloodied.

            Finn had bit back his own tears.  Stroked her hair gently back from her damaged face.  Helped her pack up the things that meant the most to her.  And moved her out of that broken house.  She’d stayed with his exchange family, who’d been only too happy to take her.  Until she’d graduated a few months later, picked up three different jobs, and moved out on her own.  Eventually, Finn had had to return to his home.  But she never had. 

            Holding her now, Finn wondered what could have her as desolate as she’d been that long ago day. Stroked her hair once more and asked her to tell him what happened.  Arms tightening as, with halting words and quavering breaths, she did.  And felt sorrow as he understood that the trauma of her past had taken something that should have been the happiest discovery of her life, and made it a horror instead.  Yet as he held her close, feeling how small she seemed in this moment, he knew he owed it to her as her friend to give her more than comfort.  He had to give her the truth, and pray he could deliver it in a way she would _hear_.  He knew her happiness depended on it. 

            “Jessika, listen to me,” he began once she’d fallen silent against him.  “Do you know what a soulmate means?”  Finn felt her tense for a moment, but she was too exhausted to maintain the defensive, rigid position.  Went limp moments later.  “It means you have the _potential_ to be the perfect partner for someone.  It’s not a guarantee, you know that better than anyone.  It means that if you work at it, every day, you can be the best thing in someone’s life.  It doesn’t mean that you don’t have a choice.  Instead, fate tells you what you can have, if you treat it well, and don’t fuck it up.  Jessika, I love you.  But if you let Rey go, you’re going to fuck this up.”

            She sat there silently, fingers clenching and unclenching as she turned his words over and over.  Shook her head.  “How can I ever trust that she loves me?  And not just, just this _idea_ that I’m supposed to be this perfect person.  I thought we both got here on our own, building what we have from nothing.  But now I that know she’s know this from the very beginning… it changes everything.”

            Finn gave her in impatient little shake, until she finally met his eyes, her gaze swimming in misery.  And as much as Finn was tempted to just give in, hold her and let her cry it out, he knew that wasn’t good enough.  “Jessika.  You are not your parents, and neither is she.  Yes, maybe the first day she met you, all she had to go on was that you were her soulmate.  But this isn’t day two.  You have spent so much time together, you both know who the other person is.  Maybe, just maybe, she would have stuck with you if you’d made her unhappy.   But from what I know about her, she’d never put up with that.  And what’s more, she’s _told_ you how happy she is.  She told you she loved you.  No soulmark generates instant love, just the possibility for it.”  As they both sat there, considering his words, Finn realized something more.  “You know, her not telling you about the soulmark from the beginning, it’s pretty amazing when you think about it.  It gave you the chance to get to know her, without feeling any pressure, and expectations.  Just like how you didn’t tell her about yours.”  At that, Jessika’s fingers crept back to cup the base of her neck, feeling those letters burn deeper.  And now, for the first time, something more mixed with her grief.  Guilt.  “You both came into this relationship without putting pressure on the other person, and you both grew it into what it is now.  So you have a choice.  Are you going to let go of the best thing in your life, simply because God or fate or whatever happens to _agree_ with the choice you’ve already made?  Or are you going to love her the same way you would have if she didn’t have any mark, and let her love you back?”


	15. Chapter 15

Standing outside Rey’s door, Jessika sucked in air that didn’t seem to reach her lungs.  Feeling faint as her vision tried to blur.  “I can do this,” she whispered to herself, but the encouragement was lacking, when she still wasn’t entirely sure what she meant to do.

            It had been hours since she’d stumbled out of her own door this morning.  This time had been more deliberate, but she felt no less sick inside.  More coherent perhaps, but everything seemed worse, with the echoes of Finn’s words reverberating inside her, rattling against ribs already wounded from her hearts jagged edges.  After he imparted his wisdom, he’d fixed her a hot apple sider and just sat with her as she struggled with the things she knew were true, the things she hoped were true, and the things she dreaded were true.

            She knew she loved Rey.  Nothing had coerced her into that, and even now, her heart ached thinking of her.  And the pain Jessika had undoubtedly caused her.  If anything had stuck out from the things Finn had said, it was this.  Neither Jessika or Rey were her parents.  She _knew_ that, and more, knew they were a poor yardstick to measure the rest of the world against.  Knew it was her fatal flaw that she couldn’t help but do so.  And while she still feared Rey had only come to know her, come to like her, maybe come to love her because of the soulmark, Jessika was sure of one thing.  Rey had been happy.  And in her happiness, Jessika had found her own. 

            Now though, it remained to be seen if that happiness had been ruined.  If her own fears, hurts, and scars had savaged any chance of keeping that happiness.  Sucking in a shaking breath between clenched teeth, Jessika resisted covering her own mark with her hand.  Clutched the frame of the door she had yet the courage to knock on instead. 

            Finn had had at least one more good point, one she hadn’t considered as she’d lain crumpled on the ground, too heartbroken to move.  Rey had kept the soulmark from her.  And perhaps in doing so, provided them their chance to be happy together. Because if Rey had told her from the start, Jessika couldn’t be sure how she would have reacted.  Knowing herself, she admitted, she probably would have ran.  And never looked back.  So instead, whatever Rey’s motivation had been, she given Jessika the possibility she would never have accepted otherwise.

            Explaining to Rey why she’d run now – she didn’t know where to start.  Finn was the only person she’d ever let in, close enough to know her broken history, the shattered foundation she’d built the rest of her life on.  But she knew Rey now, knew the kindness of her heart, the generosity of her soul.  Knew Rey wouldn’t hold it against her.  But as for the rest – the fact Jessika had letters sliding down her spine.  How would she possibly handle it?  How would they handle it? 

            She still hadn’t read them.  Finn had quietly offered, as they sat on their couch, both thinking of the series of collision her life had been, taking her from impact to impact, to read the words for her.  To end the suspense.  But Jessika had refused, and he hadn’t asked her to explain why.  The sympathetic understanding moving over his face telling her he already knew.

            Her whole life, Jessika had refused to read it because she didn’t care what fate had to say.  Hated any destiny that took the choice away from her.  But now… now she knew who she loved.  Who her heart had chosen.  And hated to consider the hurt it would cause, the devastation they both might feel if it disagreed.

            Steeling herself, Jessika knocked.  Almost prayed it went unanswered.  Was somehow unprepared for the door to slowly open.  Looked up to see Rey standing before her, and it was a mirror.  Every bit of misery, guilt, and grief that moved through Jessika reflected on that face she loved.  It took everything she had not to grab Rey, pull her in for an embrace where they could both pretend everything was okay. 

            Instead, she cleared her throat.  Aware it was still an uneven rasp, from her hours of crying.  “Can I come in?” she questioned softly, when Rey just stared at her, shock filtering in with her other emotions so naked on her features. 

            Rey moved back silently, and Jessika clenched her hands together to keep from reaching out as she moved in, standing awkwardly before perching stiffly on the edge of the couch.  Rey followed at a slower pace, eyes taking in every moment, and seeing the longing in those brown eyes made tears prick at Jessika’s eyes once more.  But she held them back with force of will alone.  She just had to get through this.  And see where she stood when it was all over. 

            “Rey, I – there are things that I need to tell you. Maybe I should have before, I just didn’t know how, didn’t realize I needed to.  But first I – I’m sorry.  For just leaving like that.  I shouldn’t have, you deserved for me to tell you why I reacted the way I did, and I’m so sorry for that.”  Despite her resolve, she felt a tear spill over, and swiped it away impatiently.  Saw Rey open her mouth, and shook her head.  No, she had to get this out now, or she never would.

            “Rey, my parents were soulmates.”  At this, Rey closed her mouth, eyes growing wide at the mention of a past, a family that Jessika had never once disclosed.  “They met young, get married quickly, had me…  It should have been a fairytale.  It looked like it at the beginning I guess,” she let out a laugh, but it was nothing but dark, bitter, completely devoid of humor, and Rey knew this story did not have a happy ending.  But she stilled the words that wanted to spill out.  Realizing that whatever this was, Jessika needed to say it.  And Rey needed to know.

            Suddenly too anxious to sit still, Jessika shoved to her feet.  Aware of Rey watching her with those large, penetrating eyes but unable to meet them.  Just get it out, she told herself.  Just finish it.  “I don’t know why, or how it started, but their love, if you can call it that, became twisted.  My earliest memories are of them fighting – these horrible, screaming and shouting matches.  I begged my mom to leave my dad, who was the more abusive of the two.  But she wouldn’t do it.  Because they were soulmates.”

            Rey sucked in a breath, pained understanding blooming in her gaze as she began to realize just what a soulmark meant to Jessika – so vastly different from what it had always represented for herself.  But the story was far from over, as Jessika continued in a hard, distant voice, so different from her usual warm self.  “Basically, things just got worse.  Finally, it got bad enough, my mom went to the hospital after a fight.”  Rey watched with damp eyes as Jessika absently rubbed fingertips over her jaw, and wondered how much was still unsaid.  “But she still wouldn’t leave him.  He had broken her fucking arm, and she still stayed.  I couldn’t handle it, I just couldn’t…” Jessika’s voice broke, and she took a shuddering breath, rubbed her shaking hands over her thighs, tried to gather herself.  “I left that night.  And I haven’t seen them since.  I know, I _know_ not every story is like theirs.  That some people are happy.  But I just couldn’t see how it made any sense to let fate decide who I was supposed to be with.  Didn’t want that, if it meant I’d accept cruelty for the rest of my life because it came from a soulmate.”

            Unable to hold herself back an instant longer, Rey surged to her feet.  Moved to intercept Jessika’s anxious pacing, though she didn’t make the mistake of touching the other woman.  And all the guilt she’d been feeling since this morning, and letting Jessika find out about their connection that way melted into grief for what Jessika had gone through.  “So I decided I didn’t want a soulmate.  I wanted to find love on my own.  And I did.  I did,” she repeated, meeting Rey’s eyes now.  Wanting to reassure Rey even as she was left in turmoil.  “But I thought we both found it that way.  I never considered I was someone’s soulmate.  I just, I never thought of it.  And now, knowing it’s you…  I want to be happy, but I’m terrified.  That that mark is the only reason you love me.”

            And that quickly, Rey would not be held back anymore.  Reaching out, feeling her heart clench painfully when Jessika flinched slightly, as though expecting a blow, she kept moving until that face was cupped gently in her hands.  “Jessika.  I love _you_.  The funny, clever, generous, amazing woman who loves bad beer, terrible sports, and stuffed animals.  There are a million things I adore about you, and the soulmark only confirms what’s in my heart.  I love you so much.  I _promise_ ,” she swore solemnly, saw the struggle on Jessika’s face.  Saw her aching to believe it, fighting back a lifetime that had taught her in the most brutal way it couldn’t be true.  Waiting patiently, knowing she’d wait forever for Jessika, Rey saw it when Jessika finally gave in, a shudder wracking through that body.  Felt her choke back a sob, and tugged Jessika into a tight hug, holding her as she cried, the two of them swaying slightly as they clung to one another, for an timeless eternity. 

            Finally, a lifetime later, Jessika had quieted, and the silent tears slipping out of Rey’s eyes had gradually stopped.  All the confusion she’d felt at what had happened answered, though her own guilt at not telling Jessika sooner, revealing it in a gentler way, only weighed more heavily upon her.  Tightening her arm around Jessika’s small waist, Rey sighed.  “Listen.  About today, how you found out, I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to keep it to you.”  Jessika pulled back, until their eyes could meet.  Watched seriously as Rey attempted to explain.  “I wanted to tell you.  But when we met, and I saw that our meeting was one sided, I didn’t know what to do.  And then, when I saw you again I was just so happy, I just wanted to get to know you.  But I was going to tell you.  I promise I was.”  Rey held her breath, watched the way Jessika slowly nodded, bit her lip.  And felt confusion mounting when Jessika slowly moved away, until they were no longer touching.

            “I believe you.  Thank you for explaining that to me,” Jessika said softly.  She believed her.  She’d worried, that she wouldn’t know if Rey’s love was the truth or just a product of that mark, but now, staring into that face she knew so well, she _knew_.  Rey really did love her.  Had only wanted to get to know her.  Hadn’t tried to hurt her by keeping things.  Now the only thing that remained was to see if Rey would still feel the same, after learning what _Jessika_ had been keeping.  “But there’s something I need to tell you.”

            “Jessika, what is it?” Rey question, the edges of panic flickering like flames through her.  What else could there be?  What more did they have to fight through, to end up together?

            Swallowing, Jessika lifted a hand.  Pressed it to the base of her neck.  “I have a soulmark too.”

            Physically stumbling back, Rey couldn’t have been more shocked if Jessika had delivered a bare knuckled punch to her face.  “What?” she demanded.  Aghast.  Mind sliding into blankness.

            “I have a s-” Jessika began, cut her words off when Rey shook her head.  Looked at her like she was a stranger.

            “No, I heard you.”  Heard, but couldn’t believe.  A million questions screamed inside her, but she could only voice one.

            “Who is it?”

            “I don’t know,” was the instant reply.  And it was the last answer she had expected.

            “You mean… you haven’t met them yet?”  Oh God, this couldn’t be any worse. 

            “No, I mean, I don’t know.  I’ve never read it,” Jessika explained.  She hadn’t thought it was possible for Rey to look any more shocked, but apparently she had been wrong.  The expression of disbelief on that face was so intense it should have been comical.  But it wasn’t.  It was horrible.  And she’d caused this.

            “I don’t. . .what??” Rey demanded.  Didn’t pull back when Jessika reached out now, held one of Rey’s hands tightly in both of her own.  Urgency in her voice now as she tried to explain. 

            “You know how I grew up Rey.  When I felt those words burn me, I swore I’d never read them.  And I never have.  I would find love on my own, and I _did_.  I found you.”

            “But,” Rey began, shook her head, trying to clear a mind that was still staggered.  “How could you just – what if you belong to someone else?” she demanded.  Saw Jessika’s expression harden.  Not in anger, but in determination.

            “I only belong to who I chose.  And I chose you Rey.  Every day, forever, I’ll chose you.  Why isn’t that enough?” Jessika demanded.

            “Because one day you could find someone better!  Someone who deserves you!  Do you know what it’s felt like, this whole time?  Knowing you were my soulmate?  And thinking I wasn’t good enough to be yours?”  Jessika’s face paled at the impassioned shout.  But Rey couldn’t stop.  Couldn’t turn back from this moment they’d been careening towards from the very beginning, she saw now.  “But I put that aside, because I promised I’d love you enough you’d never missed having a soulmate.  But if you have one, and it’s someone else – if there’s someone out there who’s supposed to love you better than I can… I can’t handle it.”  Tears pouring unchecked down her face, she angrily brushed them away.  Saw the emotions churning over Jessika’s face.  Too many to sort.  But pain was highest among them.  Pain for Rey.  Pain for Jessika.  Pain for the lives they’d led, the choices they’d made, that brought them here.  Before resolve smothered everything else. 

            “Tell me right now.  Do you believe I love you?” Jessika questioned, her voice tortured but steady.  Rey nodded shakily.  Yes.  After everything, yes, she did.

            “And you love me.”

            “I do,” she whispered raggedly.  Let her wet lashes fall shut when Jessika reached out this time, cupped her cheek gently. 

            “I want you to remember something.  Remember that, no matter what, that was enough for me.”  A soft kiss pressed to Rey’s brow before Jessika stepped back.  And Rey wanted to protest.  It _was_ enough for her too.  Jessika’s love would always be enough.  But stealing Jessika’s chance at being happier, if someone else was meant for her – she just couldn’t do it. 

            Yet before she could voice any of it, these selfless thoughts that meant she would willingly tear herself in two to give Jessika a chance at what she was meant for, she watched Jessika turn away, grab the hem of her shirt.  Pull it over her shoulder.  She swept her hair over one shoulder, baring the length of her back.  And the line of writing that followed the curve of her spine. 

            The silence was excruciating.  Jessika stood, hardly breathing as she waited.  Seconds stretched, until her nerves felt pulled thin, waiting for _something._ Jolting when suddenly she felt fingertips lightly tracing down her skin, close to but not touching the slightly raised letters.  Hearing Rey’s breathing fray, she couldn’t stand it anymore.  Had never felt more naked, vulnerable in her life.  Turned enough to look over her shoulder.  “Tell me,” she whispered, when Rey’s eyes stayed adhered to the line of her spine.

            Slowly, those brown eyes raised, drenched in emotion Jessika couldn’t decipher.  Gently, Rey grabbed her shoulder, turned her until they stood face to face.  Took those shaking hands in her own.  “I will love you the way you deserve, ever day the rest of our lives.  And damn in, you are going to let me.” 

            Watching the understanding break over Jessika’s face, followed by the blinding joy, she nearly fell backwards with the force of the embrace when the she practically tackled Rey into a hug.  But she had no protest, hugging her back just as fiercely.  Hands spread possessively over the words, _her_ words, running down that back.  She hadn’t needed the confirmation that Jessika loved her.  All she’d needed to know what no one else was meant to love Jessika better.  And now, she was never going to give anyone else the chance to try.  They’d both found their forevers in each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hurray, at long last, they are together with no more secrets or doubts! But our story is not yet complete - stick around for one last chapter which will deliver the happy ending I've promised. As always, if you like what you've read, comments and kudos are the best!


	16. Chapter 16

Weeks later, only a small fraction into that forever, Rey and Jessika sat snuggled up in a booth at the sports bar overrun with Americans.  When they’d talked about taking out their respective best friends, in thanks for them both shoving the women together, helping them move past their own fears, and occasional idiocies, Rey had known precisely where they should go.  Jessika had been surprised by her choice, laughingly asking if dating an American was infecting her.  Rey had simply said that she would always remember that night fondly, because it was when Jessika had asked her on a date.  And there had been nothing for it, but for Jessika to pull her into a kiss.  At which point the conversation had been tabled for several hours.  Which was something that happened frequently lately.

            Any nerves either of them had felt before at the idea of sharing every intimacy were completely gone.  After exposing their naked souls to one another, their naked bodies had felt like the most natural step.  And lord, had that been an experience.  One they repeated, as often as possible.  Loving each other with their whole hearts was incredible.  Loving each other with their bodies – well, it was unbelievable.  So much so, that they hadn’t gotten out much lately.  Having other much more enticing reasons to stay in. 

            So when their respective friends had started harassing them via texts, voicemails, and Facebook instant messages, threatening to use their keys (since Jessika had very helpfully been locking Rey’s front door) and break up the crazy sex party, they knew the time had come for a public appearance.  So here they were, cuddled up waiting for their friends to show, each enjoying a beer, although this time Rey was drinking a Foster.  Because love or no, nothing could convince her to drink a Coors again.  Jessika had shrugged, replied with a casual “More for me.” 

            Smiling when Finn showed up a few minutes later, Rey slid off of the bench long enough to pull him into a hug, whisper a thank you into his ear.  For taking care of Jessika before Rey knew she existed.  For convincing her to come back.  For everything.  In the time since Rey and Jessika had laid everything on the table, and come through it together, Jessika had explained to Rey in detail just what an important role Finn had had in her life.  If Rey hadn’t already liked him from their last meeting, she definitely now felt an eternal devotion to the man. He blushed, mumbled back that it was nothing.  But as he sat, and watched the way the girls snuggled up together, his smile was wide.  He didn’t need or want thanks.  This, seeing his best friend really, truly happy for the first time in her life, that was all he wanted.

            “Sorry I’m late, apparently two dude dressed as superhero’s tried to have an epic battle down in the tube and delayed all the trains by forever,” Poe panted as he stumbled up to the table, smiling a welcome at Jessika and Rey before turning to Finn, hand out held, friendly smile upon his face.  “You must be Finn, I’m Poe.”

            Finn blinked at him.  Face slack in shock.  “Bloody fucking hell.”

            Brows raised, the females watched with twin expression of surprise when the smile slid off Poes face.  Mouth falling open. 

            “You’ve got to be shitting me.” 

            “Seriously.  What are the fucking chances?”

            Before Jessika could interject, demand an explanation, Rey elbowed her, until Jessika looked over and took in her soulmates wide grin.  She frowned.  Then felt her own eyes go wide when Poe started laughing, tugged a chuckling Finn to his feet, and pulled him into a back slapping hug.

            “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jessika laughed, watched as Rey smiled in matching delight.  “We invited them here to thank _them_ for getting us together, and now they’ve just met their soulmate thanks to us?”

            “You can’t fight fate,” Rey sang, happiness beaming out of her at this fabulous turn of events for her best friend.  And for the first time, Jessika didn’t disagree with the sentiment.  Leaned in to kiss her soulmate instead. 

            “No, you certainly can’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovely readers! Well, we made it to the end! And got just a bit of Poe/Finn, because really, I adore those two and will sail that ship until the very end.  
> Thank you so much for taking the time to read this story, I truly hope you have enjoyed it, because I loved writing it and am so glad to share it with you. If you did, you know the drill, comments and kudos mean the world to me. Thank you!


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